Whew.

It is Sunday night. We had a long, nice weekend of mellow togetherness. Helped Sam with his model of Spaceship Earth. Took Lily, Wyatt and Rory to the bookstore with their wallets. Went to a grown-up party (for us, there were a few kids there but hey, not ours!) and made new friends, a rarity in our town, where a) we tend to already know most people and b) (and probably more relevantly) people only talk to people they know at parties. Cleaned some things, organized some other things, planned the cleaning and organization of still more. (I have a friend who actually likes to move furniture, and she’s coming over this week, and I expect we will totally trash the place.)

And I am DONE. Take me out of the oven, baby, my bottom is burnt and I’m definitely crispy. It took all my newish whatever patiency style stuff not to just start screaming about 5:55 (and I might have yelled, just a little, here and there, at people who would not go brush their teeth or finish making their lunch or had left messy messes in my newly cleaned spaces. It’s actually kind of shameful how much yelling I still allow myself within my new improved parameters. It’s a really good thing I don’t have, say, a yelling shock collar. Do you think they make those? Am I still in my parenthetical? Whoa.)

Ok, so, in the interest of venting, I would just like to provide a brief list of things I did not wish to do, watch, find cute or be a part of tonight:

1. I do not want to get in between two people playing even the happiest game of tickle tag.
2. I cannot be charmed by even the cutest little person who wants to put on a blindfold, grope around the kitchen for me, and then crow “I found you!” over and over again.
3. I do not want to learn your magic trick.
4. I do not want to watch your magic trick.
5. I really, really do not want to learn your magic trick.
6. Seriously, did you hear me? Because I love you and I am trying so hard to be nice but I really do not want to learn your magic trick.
7. I still don’t.
8. I will not agree that it is really awesome that Krypto wants to lick your toes.
9. I do not believe that you have brushed your teeth, but we have dental insurance, and if you want to let them rot and get cavities, you are the one it’s going to hurt.
10. I do know where your toothpaste is.

Goodnight.