fbpx

Blog


On the way to a better afternoon

On the way to a better afternoon Originally uploaded by kjda She played outside for a while–some fun, some howling and fighting over bats and swings–and now, a nap. This seems to be a usual nap time for her, so we’ll hope it bodes well. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Read More

Tonight, I am the Cool Mom

Sam and I are just back from a preview of G Force (and, for the record, your kids will love it and so will you). We took the whole afternoon together, had dinner, got there just as it was starting–only to find them turning away a line of a hundred-plus people. But I am “press” and we got in–and it turned out Sam never doubted that we would!

Read More

I No Like You!

Rory told me she “no like you” for the first time today. It was totally ok, because at that moment, I didn’t like her much, either. She’d thrown a massive, all out temper tantrum at the swimming pool–the kind people date from–remember that time the naked kid screamed in the grass for 20 minutes? Oh, yeah, that was the day they had adult swim… Ah, adult swim. I mocked it at first–who wants to haul their kids out of the […]

Read More

At Dinner, again

At Dinner, again Originally uploaded by kjda This time she’s out for the night. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Read More

First, there was ice cream.

First, there was ice cream. Originally uploaded by kjda And now–a moonlit playground. How are things going? Brilliantly, actually. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a family like this? (that’s not even sarcasm, I add, mindful of the day I wrote something like "I love reading trip trap trip trap in this version of the Billy Goats Gruff" and and my editor said whoa, that’s a little too snarky even for you and I said oh, no, actually I […]

Read More

On Double X Today

Is giving to art and cultural charites moral when 24,000 kids die every day from easily preventable, poverty-related causes like diarrhea and pneumonia? Discuss. But on DoubleX, please, not here!

Read More

Updates and the Tattle Brigade

Inspired by Guo Ji Mama, who updated her blog header the day her last daughter came home, I have FINALLY updated mine. Call it what you will. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe I’d just forgotten how to use Cyberduck to upload the file to my theme, or more importantly to resize the picture. Maybe I’m just lazy, and the kind of hostess who leaves the giant bottle of nature’s miracle (used to remove the scent of doggie “accidents”) on the […]

Read More

Personal Failings, We’ve Got a Few

The BPS invited a bunch of psychologists to name things they didn’t understand about themselves, and while some of them took it as an opportunity to muse about consciousness and neurons, a bunch kept it real, and said, in essence–if I KNOW why people make certain mistakes, and I even studied it–why do I keep making the same mistakes? We’ve all got tropes we keep repeating even when we know what we do, why we do it and why we […]

Read More

What, Exactly, is Complaining?

Two DoubleX friends are embarking on a month-long attempt to quit their kvetching that they have dubbed the Whiners’ Guide to Not Complaining. In it, they agree that although their wry, sarcastic style has led them to great personal and professional success, they could perhaps consider altering it just a tad–just a smidgen, perhaps–in an attempt not so much to alter their own black-humored, cynical personas but just to be more mindful of what’s hipster veneer and what’s becoming more […]

Read More

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Read More

Never Best Left Unspoken

Let us say, for example, that you have something you would prefer the children not discuss at this precise moment. In our house, that list could include: Monkey Bars The book “Snuggle Puppy” Izzy’s upcoming birthday party Chinese class Rory’s Mama Deena and Baba Mike baths The one thing we are guaranteed to talk about is exactly whatever you–or, in this case, obviously I–would prefer that we just not, at that particular moment. I am happy at any moment of […]

Read More

Mockery and the American Girl Doll

I have just been mocked, mocked. So mocked. I told a friend–mother of a 4th grade girl–that this coming Wednesday, I will be taking Lily to Boston to the American Girl Doll store, to buy her a doll. We do not own an American Girl Doll. We do not own one, and Lily has been asking, for the past year, when she would be old enough for one. Soon, I kept saying. Her friends began to acquire them, one by […]

Read More

The Failure of the Living Classroom

Caitlin Flanagan just published a provocative piece in the Atlantic about why the “garden curriculum” created by Alice Waters and running rampant in California is a bad idea. I agreed with her (here on DoubleX)–not because I think there’s anything wrong with a garden in a school, or because I think the school gardens represent a particular affront to immigrants and migrant workers (her token inflammatory hook–man, she’s good at that–I’ve yet to master it)–but because, as she finally says […]

Read More

Friday Festival of Sugar and Fat

Friday Festival of Sugar and Fat Originally uploaded by kjda What, you don’t celebrate that? KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Read More

Plane Travel: Piece o’ Cake (thanks Nintendo!)

Today we flew home from DFW to BOS, just me and the gang of four–and we were fine. Dandy, even. Got to the airport, checked our bag and the little bag of coats, went through security, ate breakfast, got on the plane, seized our portable electronic devices (in my case, the Kindle) and went to town. Thanks to my policy of forbidding all access to said portables while visiting Grandma (well, ok, not for me), we were delighted to see […]

Read More

A New Family Holiday: Light Stuff on Fire Day!

A Originally uploaded by kjda So, I think this makes a fine addition to the Friday Festival of Sugar and Fat. I had cardboard that would never fit into recycling (in our world, it it’s bigger than 2′ by 2′ the recycling guys throw it back on your driveway, and I think they pee on it first, because they hate their lives), and I thought, well, why not burn it? And while we are out it, why not put some […]

Read More

In Which I have a Very Weird Day

Since no one can talk to Torry Hansen, currently in the running for worst parent ever, and I’m the author of I Did Not Love My Adopted Child  (please note that a) I did not write the title and b) past tense! Past tense! I wanted to call it Adoption sucks. But that’s no reason not to do it.), a bunch of people wanted to talk to me, which is how I ended up on CNN tonight. Mostly it was in […]

Read More

The One Thing Rory’s Siblings Have that She Doesn’t, Still

Friends. That’s not entirely accurate–Rory has friends at school, and she has plenty of kids her age who come over often and romp through our house for various family events and family playdates–but she has no friends of her very own, who would invite her and only her over for a playdate or…the ultimate…a birthday party. Sam goes to birthday parties (he’s 8). Lily goes to birthday parties (she’s 5). Wyatt goes to birthday parties, and this is the unkindest […]

Read More

Happy Birthday to Sam

Happy Birthday to Sam Originally uploaded by kjda Not really his birthday yet, but we will be traveling…so today was his full on, all out Mad Science Birthday, and it was awesome. This was his volcano cake. With melted Jolly Rancher lava. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Read More

Cyberbully Parent, Behaving Badly

Cyberbully students are causing endless angst for schools who feel obligated to interfere when students bully and are bullied–but aren’t sure where the limitations of their authority lie. Legal wrangling about cyberbullying goes on–and so does the debate about what a parent’s role should be when it’s his kid on one side or the other of the online equation. Last week’s New York Times article spotlighted one parent who sued on behalf of his daughter, who was suspended from her […]

Read More

The Five Worst States for Kids

The Annie E. Casey Foundation is a private charitable organization, dedicated to helping build better futures for disadvantaged children in the United States. If you’re an NPR listener, you’ve heard the name. The Foundation just released its annual KIDS COUNT Data book, in which it compiles markers for child-well-being in all fifty states. This is the 2008 data, and overall, things are looking bleak for the youngest citizens. The number of children living in poverty rose to 18% in 2008, […]

Read More

What Really Intellectual Familes

What Really Intellectual Familes Originally uploaded by kjda Do on Vacation

Read More

You know your grocery store is indulging in multiple tricks, nudges and persuasion to get you to spend more. We’re all educated consumers, and we’re much harder to fool with that whole Oreos on the end-of-the-aisle display, store brands in the middle thing than we once were. But some of the manipulation plays out beneath the radar: who knew the pattern on the carpet was set up to lead you deeper into the store? Women’s Day magazine has an article […]

Read More

Kids on Bikes

Kids on Bikes Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

Read More

Hockey. Damn It.

It’s been a tough night around here. Hockey tryouts are over, and Sam skated his best. His dad, who watched, expected him to make one of the two middle of the four teams (that would be white or blue). He rode home in the car anticipating looking at the roster–would it be up? Who would be on his team? He was so excited. You can tell this is going to end badly, can’t you? It does. He made the red […]

Read More

Proof Positive We Live in Paradise

Proof Positive We Live in Paradise Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone — KJ Dell’Antonia www.kjdellantonia.com 917-647-6600 Contributing Editor, Kiwi Magazine Read me on Slate’s XXFactor blog www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/xxfactor Twitter.com/kjda

Read More

Be My, Be My Baby

Last week, inspired by lots of things–one parenting guru (Vicki Hoefle, of Parenting on Track, whose cult I am totally joining), one excellent book that purports to be about parenting the ADHD child, but is really about examining your parenting style in the middle of your kid’s childhood and figuring out who you really want to be as your grade schooler turns into a teen (that would be Katherine Ellison’s Buzz: A Year of Paying Attention), my feeling of relative […]

Read More

What I Do Better Now

Am I getting older? Wiser? More experienced? Well, yes to the first, certainly. And I’ve been working hard at making myself more the person I’d like to be in the past few years. It’s funny, but it started when I wrote this article (from Parenting) about my efforts not to be late all the time. I honestly didn’t like being late, but I wasn’t sure I could change. But writing about it made me take the effort seriously. And I […]

Read More

Independent Packing

What does it say about me that up until now, for every trip, I have made myself insane completing every last detail of every bit of the packing? As in, I charge their Nintendos. I pack their carry-ons. I make sure each kid has just the right workbook or crayons, or every member of the mini SuperWhy team. I put carefully distributed snacks in them. I pack their clothes, matched, clean, suitable. Etc. I micro-manage the whole process, and it […]

Read More

2 Minutes of Wild Hockey Action

Rory is #10, black helmet, black ponytail. Wyatt is white helmet, #19 (both in yellow tied-on pinneys). The video was created by the proud dad of #14 in red. They played hockey for 2 straight hours Sunday in a wild end-of-season “jamboree.” And now they are mad that it’s over.

Read More

Exhausted

Yes, even though it has been a long day home with all of you and we have made paper mâché and so on and endless so forth, I will read Ramona the Pest to you. Spring “break.”

Read More

And You Let Them Drink Coke?

This has never happened to me before, and I’m so happy that it waited until I was ready. Last night, Guo Ji Mama and I were at her son’s lacrosse game on our local fields. We ate a picnic from the Mexican place, left most of our respective broods happily playing in the park and sauntered over to sort of semi-watch the game. After a while, a largish blonde woman approached. “Are zose your kids alone in ze playground?” she […]

Read More

Iced Coffee: The Life-Giving Specialty of the House

I love iced coffee. I am so not a coffee person otherwise, in that I really can’t distinguish good coffee from bad (although a really great cup might catch my attention), don’t care how it’s brewed, won’t notice if you stew it for a while and really, really can’t tell where you got your beans or how and when they were ground. When it comes to hot coffee, I’m a philistine, and I drink it with plenty of milk and […]

Read More

Everything in a Name

What’s in a name? Everything. Every thought your parents had about who you might be. A goodly dose of who your father’s family was, and possibly, depending on your circumstances, your mother’s as well. If you’re adopted, what’s in a name? Maybe everything, maybe nothing. Casually (as in the non-legal name you’d give, say, a gymnastics class), Rory’s name says nothing much about her except that she’s the child of two people who liked the name Rory. Her name is […]

Read More

There’s Something Familiar About This Place

Another post from France… We’ve done the drive from Barcelona to Cazo before. As we headed into Narbonne, Rob reminded me that we’d missed the turn in some way last time. “That’s how we ended up at the Carrefours, remember?” I did, and although we’d liked the Carrefours, with all four kids asleep in the back of the car in the middle of the day and Rob and I each running on about an hour’s poor sleep on the plane, […]

Read More

Immediate Gratification

Immediate Gratification Originally uploaded by kjda Sam has been saving. And this weekend, he found that he had enough for the lowest end iTouch, the 8G. Of course we have, as a family, a reasonably large quantity of iThisandThats. With EXTREMELY limited access, Partly because I don’t want them wired up during the week, and partly because of the competition allowing one to play the iPad entails. Everyone has accepted that the iFamily is for travel only. But if he […]

Read More

Will Wishing Make it So?

I really don’t want Rory to have a language issue. I go back and forth on whether I think the things I posted about yesterday–her srtuggles with nouns, her mixing up words within categories–mean anything more than, as Gina said yesterday, that she’s “just a girl trying to learn SO Much. Yes, she wasn’t only learning language but learning social cues, learning how to be in a family, learning so much more than kids brought up here at an earlier […]

Read More

Get Up! Get Up!

It really bothers my children to see me sit on the sofa. This may be because for many years, I did not have any opportunity to sit down. I kept us so busy that we were rarely home, in part because I was a little afraid to be alone with all of these kids, who might want me to play Candyland. I hate Candyland. And then when we were home, it was all very active. We were baking! We were […]

Read More

Always the Mom Who’s Behind

Tonight was “open school night” or “back to school” night or something like that at Sam and Lily’s school. No kids, just parents in the classroom. Don’t tell Lily, but because we’ve been second grade parents before, we defaulted more towards Sam’s class, although Rob went to her teacher’s main presentation, and I rolled in for the tail end and to ask a key question. In Sam’s class, though, I focused. I listened to the lovely, lovely teacher. I copied […]

Read More

Dinner

Dinner Originally uploaded by kjda Let it never be said that Rory’s KFC meal did not include vegetables.

Read More

Surprise! The Kitten Would be a SURPRISE!

I always forget I know some of you IRL. So–it’s a Christmas surprise. More anon.

Read More

Helping the Dentist Out

Helping the Dentist Out Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

Read More

The Perils of Hangman With 7-Year-Olds

The Perils of Hangman With 7-Year-Olds Originally uploaded by kjda

Read More

A Little Late For the Party

loan calculate payments monthly Caller ID signals are sent during loan calculate payments monthly interval between the first and second bursts of the ringing signals. sloane four corners eric , Audiovox (now UTStarcom), Benefon, BenQ-Siemens, CECT, High Tech Computer Corporation (HTC), Fujitsu, Kyocera, Mitsubishi Electric, NEC, Neonode, Panasonic (Matsushita Electric), Pantech Curitel, Philips, Research In Motion, Sagem, Sanyo, Sharp, Siemens, Sierra Wireless, SK Teletech, Sonim Technologies, T&A Alcatel, Huawei, Trium and Toshiba. help of out loans getting student For example […]

Read More

Look At the Schnoz On Her!

tones and ringtones message free In early party line systems this pattern was tones and ringtones message free code letter indicating who should pick up the phone, but today, with individual lines, the only surviving patterns are a single ring and double-ring, originally Morse code letters T and M respectively. banana ringtones Many of these sites are camouflaged to blend with existing environments, particularly in scenic areas. ringtones free mustang 3 billion by November, 2007[9], thus reaching ringtones free mustang […]

Read More

My Son, the Imaginary Bully

tn land loans Modern tn land loans s have become extremely diverse, leading to phone personalization and customization. consolidation loans debt Later updating of the cellular system to consolidation loans debt system credits this patent. low loan interest car bad credit Around 80% of low loan interest car bad credit population enjoys low loan interest car bad credit coverage as of 2006. unsecured loan personal AAC: Some phones like unsecured loan personal Ericsson W810i support unsecured loan personal s in […]

Read More

Just a Few More Steps, and

I have seen the new food pyramid, and the news is good–apparently, if you run up just a few steps a day, you can eat anything you want at the top of the pyramid! At least, that’s what I heard someone on NPR say. She seemed worried that all of us graphic sign-people would take loan personal brokersloan personal paquotes personal loanpersonal in london loans companiespersonal for loans arkansasloans for women personalpersonal lender loansyork loans new state personal Maploan short […]

Read More

The Flaming, Defiant Role Model

I was listening to some of my backlogged This American Life in the car, driving down to Boston and back to get Trixie (because I am an NPR geek, and my ipod contains TAL episodes, one audio book by Anne Lamott and two by Sarah Vowell, plus miscellaneous music which I almost never listen to). The particular episode that caught my attention featured Seattle writer and syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage talking about a kid he’s particularly admired in high […]

Read More

Sam feeds the goats.

Sam feeds the goats., originally uploaded by kjda. First time he’s been so brave. This was particularly gratifying (to him, but both of us, really) because his best friend Joey, usually much braver than Sam, refused to let the goats eat out of his hand. Instead, he threw the food at their faces and ran like crazy. He later found a nice bunny to eat out of his hand. (Take that, Joe! Your son’s only brave enough for bunnies! So […]

Read More

Maternity Jeans

ringtone as motokrzr mp3 on use On ringtone as motokrzr mp3 on use basis, India is the largest growth market, adding about 6 million ringtone as motokrzr mp3 on use s every month. ringtones mp3 free [2] These manufacturers account for over 80% of all ringtones mp3 free s sold and produce phones for sale in most countries. canada ringtones Second-generation systems, started in 1991 in Finland, are all digital and include GSM, CDMA and TDMA. ringtones benetar fun Due […]

Read More

Resources

I've got Ten Mantras for Happier Parents (based on the research for my book, How to Be a Happier Parent). They've worked for me—want to try them?

Hi, I’m KJ. Can I send you something?