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Back to New York

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The River of Bile

Thinking the reference to bile is figurative, and I intend, perhaps, to rant in some negative way about some subject dear to my heart? Sadly, sadly, you are wrong. The bile is literal. Bile, vomit, barf, chunks, throw-up…I’ve been down with then all for the past 20 hours or so, giving me four hours to go on a supposed 24-hour bug (what, and then I can go out for burgers?) Lifting my head up from my night of convening with […]

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The Terrible Twisty Tentacles of Depression and Schadenfreude

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Why I know how to spell Listeria

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You Say It’s Your Birthday…

I am not feeling particularly chipper on this, the anniversary of my birth. We had a good day. Rob took the kids grocery shopping this morning, giving me a bit of time, and then we met a few friends at a BBQ festival, where we got to eat a lot of charred, sauce covered pork, which is one of my very favorite things. It would have made a fine Saturday, but for some reason, it was a bit of a […]

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Tact for the Pregnant

Tonight at book club I sat next to a girl, somewhat younger than me, about four weeks away from having her second baby and more than ready. We were talking about how weird those last few days were, when you know it’s going to happen, but you don’t know when. “I really realized it when I bought milk with an expiration date that was past my due date,” she said. “I felt like it was sort of a cross between […]

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Watching the build-up the Rose Bowl made me remember one of my favorite techniques for handling the many, and nearly always male, detectives and cops I worked with in the NYC District Attorney’s office. My boyfriend/husband was an ESPN addict, and although I had no trouble tuning out SPorts Night, some of it invariably sunk in–and it went farther to create a rapport than anything I could have done short of growing a penis and turning Irish. If I were […]

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If

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C-sections: Behind the fashion curve

Lily had another tough day, partly because she skipped her nap, the evil little being. On the plus side, it was my first day without narcotics. They wouldn’t refill my prescription, curse them! No way ordinary tylenol would work! Well, actually, it did–and I’m less groggy, too. So maybe they know something. Other thoughts: The people in charge of c-section scar placement have not kept up with the new lower waistbands. And it’s not the scar I’m worried about–it’s the […]

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Joining the Fray

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Sam at his holiday concert.

Sam at his holiday concert. Originally uploaded by kjda. lesbian movie clipscfnm moviemovies teenmovie hentaiplayboy moviesshemale moviesmovies mike apartmentsex downloads movies free Map

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I Think I Will Just Rename the Website ENVY

I belong to The Well and mostly frequent a really good freelancer group there, where I am middling to low on a totem pole that includes regular writers for Vogue, Wired and Salon but also people who don’t really see their byline in the national pubs very often, if at all. I love being a part of it. Today, I read an announcement that a fellow byliner just sold her first novel in a “major deal”. I was over the […]

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At the Biltmore house in NC

At the Biltmore house in NC Originally uploaded by kjda. KJ

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It’s a little hard to tell, bit the shade of

It’s a little hard to tell, bit the shade of Originally uploaded by kjda. KJ

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Originally uploaded by kjda. KJ Dell’Antonia (Please attribute any drastic spelling and punctuation errors to my poor thumb-typing and creative autocorrect.)

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Are We There Yet?

Wyatt asked me that 27 times on the way home from dinner tonight, and that’s just after I started COUNTING. And he’s still not two. We are really in for it. More rain, sleet…just when I was thinking we’re close to spring, it won’t be that cold and there’s all this amazing snow. Planning skiing, cross country, finally figuring out a way to put a top on that igloo… Everyone talks about the weather but no one does anything about […]

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Spring in New England

Spring in New England Originally uploaded by kjda. KJ Dell’Antonia Look! Sand buckets! Bike helmet! We are ready, anyway.

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Lily’s spring concert

Lily’s spring concert Originally uploaded by kjda. KJ Dell’Antonia (Please attribute any drastic spelling and punctuation errors to my poor thumb-typing and creative autocorrect.)

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Lily and Wyatt at Fratello’s

Lily and Wyatt at Fratello’s Originally uploaded by kjda. The funny thing is that It was Wyatt’s idea. KJ Dell’Antonia (Please attribute any drastic spelling and punctuation errors to my poor thumb-typing and creative autocorrect.)

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Happy Birthday Mom!

I was glad you liked the kids singing. They were so pleased with themselves. And Sam really liked playing his piano into the phone to you. I don’t think that had ever occurred to him before. It was almost like you were here! Rob got everyone into pajamas tonight by sheer force of personality, since he can’t really manhandle them. I find that as exhausting as just sitting on them and doing it myself. Having him able to do it […]

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Après ski nap

Après ski nap Originally uploaded by kjda. KJ Dell’Antonia

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Under the last patch of melting snow..

Under the last patch of melting snow.. Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Big Stuff Afoot!

Wow. So, none of what I planned to get done this afternoon got done, although, oddly, I cleaned part of the vegetable garden. Because, what with packing for Texas, finishing Rebecca’s dvd and package, finishing a pitch for my conference next week, doing a new post for the NHPR site I just started writing for, finishing the article for Parenting I wanted to have done before we left Friday…well, clearly what I really needed to do was work in the […]

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My Bag of Rocks

My Bag of Rocks, originally uploaded by kjda. Geez, what’s in there, a bag of rocks? Why, yes! It’s a metaphorical bag of rocks, too. I am carrying a lot of baggage, lately.

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49 Drops of Poop, and Progress

This afternoon and evening I: Cleaned, badly and frantically, 49 drops plus one pile of dog poop in the ten minute interval between when I discovered the poop, and when I had to leave the house with the kids in order to deliver Sam and Lily to their ballet recital rehearsal. (Expect pics tomorrow!) Just fyi, in case you were thinking of getting a dog (and ours are house trained, this is unusual, but still) each and every drop had […]

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The Chinese Hospital Diet Plan

The Chinese Hospital Diet Plan Originally uploaded by kjda I have a feeling it’s going to be very effective. We are all here and, except for Rob, still together. Until someone else gets sick. At this point nothing would surprise me. I have the feeling that anything could happen. And I can’t even guess what will. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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The Pringle Fairy

If asked, I can state with confidence that the maximum number of days one family should spend pretty much cooped up a room together is…6. Not seven. Seven seems to be just that much too much. But we are getting there. They just took our temperature for the last time. We just had our temperatures taken for the last time. We ate our last lunch. We filled out a form that even had a box for “comments about our stay”. […]

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The Red Couch

What is wrong with that child, you ask? What are you people doing to her? Well, it’s like this. If Rory has one single, stand-out, non-endearing trait, it is (and this is SO PETTY) that she pretty much has to go potty every single solitary second of every day. Is she nervous? Unable to complete, shall we say, with relative strangers? Does she have a UTI? Dunno. Doesn’t, in the context of getting out of China, matter. But there it […]

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Not a, Baby

Adopting a three-year-old is not very much like having a baby, except in the level of shock to the system. One does not, for example, have to nurse, or wake up every three hours, or carry the baby around for hours on end in the hope that it will somehow stop crying. But the wow factor–the shock and awe and the what have we done–that’s there, in spades. Tonight was a wall-punching night for me. I was congratulating myself on […]

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Summertime, and the livin’ is easy

I love summer. WInter is hard, where we live, and it’s long, and it’s cold, and then it’s long, and did I mention it’s long? The sheer amount of gear involved in winter life…I could cry just thinking about it, and I love to ski and ice skate. Sigh… But this is summer. The pool has become easy. The biking is fabulous. There are only three and a half more weeks before Sam stuarts school, and then while the summer […]

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I May Be Worried About the Wrong Control Freak

I was trying to work through Rory’s tantrums last night–well, not the tantrums, but the way I react to them. And I was getting all fancy about her need for control, and how maybe I could understand that, as she’d had no control over being abandoned, and adopted, and yadda, and so I shoudl be more tolerant of her need to choose, say, which of the three potties in the pool bathroom she uses, every single time, and maybe if […]

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Still Not There.

I’m still waiting for the day when life just feels normal. Last night I dreamed that one of our neighbors covered the slopes of their yard with snow somehow, and I walked down the road with Rory, Wy, Lily and Sam and we just happened to stumble across it. It would be Rory’s first time playing in the snow, and I wanted to see her reaction, but she’d wandered off, and somehow we were surrounded by hundreds of families, all […]

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Who is this kid, and what did she do with Rory?

At dinner last night: This good, mommy! Thank you! To Wyatt, instead of a slap: You make me so MAD! (Wyatt: You make me so mad TOO!) This morning, 7 am, standing in our room fully dressed: I ready go school now! I get my shoes on! Tonight, awakened from an accidental post-dinner nap on the way home in the car (I tried to put her to bed, but it was just that much too early) and about to have […]

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Trucking

Trucking Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Rainy Saturday

Rainy Saturday Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Poopyheads R Us

We have a playdate this afternoon, one of our favorite neighbors and a friend of all three. She, Lily and Wyatt are all playing an elaborate game of make-believe. Rory is not; she likes some quiet time after school to do things without, I suspect, teachers coming over to make sure she is doing them in the approved Montessori way (although she loves Montessori; she has a bell and she rings it constantly around the house, saying “Please sa-ye your […]

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A ghost and Blossom, the Powerpuff Girl

A ghost and Blossom, the Powerpuff Girl Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Ready to go

Ready to go Originally uploaded by kjda It must be said that Rory has no idea what she’s getting into here. She’s seen Sam skate, of course, but she has no concept of "ice" except from the freezer. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Bumpkin City

Bumpkin City Originally uploaded by kjda I have spent my entire adult life in either Manhattan, Chicago or a small town. The result is that in any fast food chain other than Starbucks, I gaze at the menu like I’ve never seen it before, desperately interpreting. Happily, Panera Bread was not crowded, and my Dr. Pepper and blueberry muffin are bringing my feeling-a-little- better self much joy. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Great Accomplishments

Today I shall accomplish great things, many many great things. And in honor of those things, I will post them here, to share, as the day goes by. I have already accomplished the first: Laundry Basket Reclamation. When we returned from China, in July, I put all the things we acquired there into a laundry basket and sat it on the dog crate in our bedroom (which, as you can gather from that statement, is a very relaxing and well-designed […]

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Sam’s Magic Inventions, and Musings on Mental Health

Last night Lily announced that her tummy hurt. I muttered an uh-huh, sorry your tummy hurts sort of acknowledgement that we all know means “I don’t believe you,” and Sam asked: Has any one invented–you know how one person feels pain, and the other person can’t know, like, how bad it is–like when you try on hockey skates, and no one but you can tell whether or not they really fit? That was a little incoherent, but I got it, […]

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Texas Hike

Texas Hike Originally uploaded by kjda It’s gorgeous here today! And no one Compared this hike to a "forced march." KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Fwd: Future scientists dissect cow eyeball.

Fwd: Future scientists dissect cow eyeball. Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone Begin forwarded message: >

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KJ on Kids and Branding on Slate

I’ve got a piece on Slate this week on kids and brands (one of my favorite fellow writers asked me what I was branding them with–a Bar Double X, perhaps?) I’d love it if you’d come, read and argue away.

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Not the Bike Ride They Thought Mom was Taking Them On

Not the Bike Ride They Thought Mom was Taking Them On Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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I don’t want you to work. I want you to just be home.

Think these words made me sad? Think again. I do work, and I work hard, and I have been struggling, of late, to get everything done and done well. But my writing work is important, and so, on a different level is the fact that I work at all. I want the kids to get that Rob and I both work, that we both worked hard to get to jobs that we enjoy and that help us all to lead […]

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Annals of Guilt-Inducing Parenting Research: Moving

Add this to the list of things that I’m apparently supposed to worry about, to which I don’t think my own parents gave more than a passing thought: Recent research results on moving during childhood show it’s harmful in the long run. Relocating parents of extroverted kids needn’t worry so much, but those who’ve spawned introverts and other “neurotic” types can add another brick to the never-ending load of guilt. With all due respect to the idea that knowing more […]

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Raising Responsible Kids, Presidential Style

I distinctly recall how badly I wanted to make money as a kid. I remember lemonade stands, getting $1 each for ironing my father’s shirts and, later, mowing lawns. I remember the first thing I did with my own money, too: I walked straight to Skaggs Albertson’s, which sold—wait for it—Charlie’s Angels trading cards. I remember once debating between Fruit Stripes gum and a book, and having my mother press me towards the book, which would last longer. I went […]

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Thank God for Wine

Rory is standing in the garage screaming. Right now, live action, I am live-blogging the screaming. How cool am I? She is welcome to come in at any time. The doors are open. We can all hear the sobbing, stomping and beating on the wall (next to the open door). Rory is in the garage screaming because she broke a known rule, one that everyone is careful about, one that she herself has been careful about many times. She sat […]

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Stride.

We have hit our stride. Rory has been home for almost 14 months, and it’s time to call it good. And oh, it is such a relief. The past year been like hitting my head against a wall, in that it’s so much better now that it’s stopped. I’ve never, ever been so glad that a year was over, and I would repeat sixth grade before I’d live through the first six months again. Of course, we had our beautiful […]

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Resources

I've got Ten Mantras for Happier Parents (based on the research for my book, How to Be a Happier Parent). They've worked for me—want to try them?

Hi, I’m KJ. Can I send you something?