• There is a leek in the soup, thus covering the vegetable requirement.
• Made salad last night.
• It’s Caesar salad! That counts!
• What if every body just eats an apple? Can we do that? Can that be okay?
• I broke the salad spinner.
• I put out carrots and cucumber and dressing after school and they ate that.
• That lettuce looks wilted.
• I just can’t, okay?

I don’t exactly hate salad. I eat salad other people make. But I hate making salad, because I only like salad with a lot of interesting good stuff in it, especially if it’s cheese. And I hate bottled dressings except ranch. And if you’re going to eat a salad with cheese and bacon and ranch dressing, I feel like you might was well just enjoy a burger, right?

Salad is a lot of work. All that slicing, shaking, toasting, chopping… But you know what else is a lot of work with not a lot of reward? Other vegetable side dishes. I pretty much hate them all. Unless they’re covered in bacon and cheese.

But I have children, and I feel like I probably signed something somewhere that says they have to have some kind of vegetable or salad at every dinner. They even seem to like them. But I am so tired of making them.