Connecting the Dots

It’s common, and easy, to relax tech rules for the summer. But what if you didn’t?

By KJ / Friday, May 26, 2017

There is plenty to do. It’s just not stuff that will easily sate and sedate you.

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You Do Not Have to Go to a Bad Party

By KJ / Friday, October 6, 2017

That kid who is yelling at you from the kitchen, ranting and angry? He’s throwing a bad party—and you don’t have to go.

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Why Is My Laptop WiFi Default “On?”

By KJ / Monday, April 23, 2018

I use my laptop, and other digital devices, for a lot of things that don’t require them to be connected to any outside sources. I listen to podcasts, although I sometimes discover to my surprise and dismay that they aren’t actually downloaded. I use a meditation app. I read on Kindle and iBooks. Most importantly, I write books, essays, blog posts, lists and even social media posts and emails–and to write those things, I don’t need the dubious “help” of […]

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How I’m Celebrating the Official Launch of How to Be a Happier Parent

By KJ / Tuesday, August 21, 2018

It’s here. Anybody who wants to can just walk into any store or click any link and get How to Be a Happier Parent right now. I’m happy and proud and freaked out all at the same time—which is, I’m told, exactly the state of mind you want to be in before you walk out onto the set of the Today Show. That’s my big news of the day—if you’re reading this before the 8:00 hour of the Today Show, […]

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If You Liked: Books with Consciousness

By KJ / Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Don’t take the title too seriously. The “Shame” here is the narrator’s general, omnipresent shame at how her life has turned out: traditionally gender-roled marriage, kids that take all she’s got, farm that she can’t see is itself enviable to others… so, she’s looking for something, anything to get herself out of her own head and she finds it in an internet influencer whose Brooklyn life seems infinitely better than hers. BUT—this is a literary, stream of consciousness, amazingly voices […]

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On the Radio

By KJ / Monday, March 14, 2005

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Dr Bradigan, DDS, Gun Runner

By KJ / Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Today was Sam’s second dentist appointment. He’s been looking forward to it all week, for reasons he never really articulated. Generally, I think he likes being the center of attention, no matter what form. Once we were there, he sank into himself, a little, huddled just a bit in the chair. I could tell he was nervous, but I stayed in my chair, across the room, smiling, relaxed, and he relaxed too. He eyed each instrument as she presented it, […]

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You Gotta Have Teeth

By KJ / Tuesday, August 2, 2005

One of my favorite mental mulling topics: things that everyone has to do, no matter how rich they are. I kept thinking, well, get up with a baby, but I suppose that’s not really true–you can hire someone to do that for you, even though I honestly (full frontal judgement here) don’t think that you should. But I digress. (Someone has to have a blog with that name, don’t they?) Today’s everybody has to do it: the dentist. No matter […]

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By KJ / Monday, February 13, 2006

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Raising Lily, Reading

By KJ / Tuesday, May 16, 2006

It’s a Girl edited by Andi Buchanan. I’ve just read most of the essays in this book, and I’ve loved them. Why “most”? Because I couldn’t read the last few–the ones about letting go. My oldest child isn’t quite five, and even thought there are plenty of moments when letting him go–ANYWHERE–sounds pretty good, the truth is that I can’t even think about them grown up and even a little bit gone. I’ll trust I’ll handle that somehow when it […]

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I thought I had a minute

By KJ / Thursday, October 26, 2006

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Deep Breaths, I Have Taken a Few

By KJ / Saturday, March 3, 2007

I’m pretty much through yesterday’s bad funk. I’ve infected poor Rob with it, though, and I don’t think he likes me very much right now. Not that I like me much lately, either. But we’ve always soldiered through that before, no reason not to think we will again. I’m struggling with my novel rewrite, too. When it goes well, I’m on top of the world. When it doens’t–I just opened the file and realized the character I’ve just brought in […]

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Lily’s eating habits

By KJ / Saturday, September 15, 2007

Lily’s eating habits Originally uploaded by kjda. We’ve spent a lot of time defending the way we feed the kids–which is to pretty much offer whatever’s available at any meal all at once without commenting on what gets eaten. We do encourage trying new things and talk about food groupd and balance, but we never, ever make eating dessert conditional on eating anything else. If there’s dessert, you get it, no matter what. This worked great with Sam but seemed […]

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As American as Apple Pie, Bloody Skeletons and Machine Guns

By KJ / Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I let Sam watch the first half of the first inning of the World Series tonight. A lot of the kids in his class are talking about it (we’re close to Boston and this is definitely Red Sox nation). It took 45 minutes of pregame to get to the batters. There were 8 or 10 rounds of commercials. The first one was funny and we both loved it so much we went back to see it again–a guy and some […]

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Lily eats ice cream

By KJ / Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Lily eats ice cream Originally uploaded by kjda. KJ Dell’Antonia (Please attribute any drastic spelling and punctuation errors to my poor thumb-typing and creative autocorrect.)

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In Praise of Wyatt (Why not?)

By KJ / Monday, March 3, 2008

OK, Wyatt is exceptional. And in the interest of bringing everyone around to my way of thinking, let me just share some of the cute and brilliant things he’s said in the past couple of days–two weeks shy of his second birthday (because there’s nothing more fascinating than stories about the cute things my kid said, is there?) He and Lily were playing Hide and Seek. He found her, and there was much giggling, and he said “I thought you […]

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Lazy Ass Me

By KJ / Wednesday, April 2, 2008

This week I have been VASTLY better at dicking around on the ‘net than, say, actually writing anything. I will have meetings, or probably at the very least one meeting, with editors next week. Agents for absolutely certain. The book should be shiny and ready to stick in a box, the freelance ideas gloriously new…but I am googling a former writer from Rollerderby. Oh, yeah, I’m ready for prime time.

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The Flying Baby

By KJ / Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I told Lily and Sam a story tonight in which Wyatt flew out the wondow and they flew after him, because of course he’s too little to fly alone… Lily loved it. Kept talking about it all through bedtime. He fly! In story, he fly! Yes, in the story. Story. Yes, it was a story. Sam not fly. i not fly. Wyatt not fly. But she got kind of a speculative gleam in her eye at that last sentence, and […]

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Lily’s Turn to Learn that it Really Happens

By KJ / Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Lily’s day has come, and she’s taking it better than I would have expected. Here’s the background: Once upon a time, when Sam wasbut a wee lad of three and in nursery school, he failed to put his boots and coat on, or to sit in his cubby and put his boots and coat on, or some dreadful transgression of that nature. Sam, I declared sternly, if you don’t go do whatever it is I want you to do right […]

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Sam the Reader

By KJ / Thursday, October 16, 2008

Sam the Reader Originally uploaded by kjda. Hi mom! I am sitting at the library with Sam. He finished his homework in no time and has been reading for 35 minutes. Of course, the minute I wrote that he started humming. Still, pretty good for somebody who wouldn’t have read at all a month ago. He is out with me because tonight is the Nordic team ski sale, and he needs new skis. Since we have Holly tonight, he gets […]

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When you run out of strawberries…

By KJ / Saturday, December 20, 2008

When you run out of strawberries… Originally uploaded by kjda. KJ Dell’Antonia

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Under the last patch of melting snow..

By KJ / Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Under the last patch of melting snow.. Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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We are on Vacation!

By KJ / Tuesday, April 21, 2009

We are on Vacation!, originally uploaded by kjda. So of course, we are at Starbucks. You could say that is like going to Paris and eating at McDonalds, but I don’t think Dallas is really known for it’s local coffee. In fact, as far as I can see, it could be known for the abundance of…Starbucks. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Wait! Come back!

By KJ / Thursday, May 28, 2009

This time you really can comment! (I think…)

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Bad news

By KJ / Saturday, June 20, 2009

Rob tested positive. they called at 11 tonight. others of us are feeling symptoms. i think we are all going to Beijing Di Tan Hospital. we will not have internet access. this is not going to be fun.

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Wyatt finally gets a hot dog

By KJ / Thursday, June 25, 2009

Wyatt finally gets a hot dog Originally uploaded by kjda For breakfast, of course. He ate 4. We think this is our last breakfast here… We are taking lots of pictures. We will put them up tomorrow, I hope. Rob has the camera charger. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Still here…

By KJ / Monday, July 6, 2009

Full disclosure: Lorelei Rebecca Seelig, fka You Wan Rebecca, has had more sugar in the past week than in her entire previous 3 year, 9 month life. She has had candy. She has had lollipops. She has had Sprite, Coke and Orange soda. “I like tandy,” she tells us, helpfully, before meals. “I like Sprite. I like cookies. No dinner, just cookies.” We have no routine, of course, no set rest time, no set bed time, no ability to have […]

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Visit me on Double X!

By KJ / Friday, July 17, 2009

Rationing health care: gotta be done. (Psst…we already do it.)

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Things That Make Me Happy

By KJ / Thursday, July 30, 2009

Things That Make Me Happy Originally uploaded by kjda This is on our road home. I see it every day, and every day I think of that road crew, goofing around with the tar, and I laugh. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Just a Little Reminder from the Poison Ivy Fairy

By KJ / Monday, August 10, 2009

Just a Little Reminder from the Poison Ivy Fairy Originally uploaded by kjda Not to take life in the woods for granted. I can’t get the picture to look as bad as it does in real life…it hurts! KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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One Angry Cowboy-hatted Dude

By KJ / Thursday, August 27, 2009

No consideration, he shouts, nodding to his friends. A little quiet, please, kids. Quiet! Thye don’t even apologize. His gaze fixes on me. Aren’t you even going to apologize? You’re not going to say you’re sorry? I’d really only just tuned in to him. He was sitting at a table at the Boloco we’d just eaten at, with three other moms and 5 other kids, outside, looking at the little town square our kids had been tearing round. I recognized […]

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Lily post-kindergarden

By KJ / Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Lily post-kindergarden Originally uploaded by kjda Lily’s first day pic is in my camera, so here she is painting pottery in honor of her first day!

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Goofiness at the Fair

By KJ / Friday, September 18, 2009

Goofiness at the Fair Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Patience, and Wagon Rides

By KJ / Friday, October 2, 2009

I am slowly but surely becoming a better person, and will no doubt achieve that flawless maternal perfection epitomized by, say, Dooce in time to work it on my great-great-grandchildren. I recently managed to go from being late all the time to at least much better (and wrote about it for Parenting–look, that glam mom in the accompanying picture is me! Really!). This month (season? year? decade?) the project is: Patience. The expert coach for the moment is Rory. Because […]

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Where in the World is KJ?

By KJ / Thursday, October 15, 2009

Where in the World is KJ? Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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A ghost and Blossom, the Powerpuff Girl

By KJ / Saturday, October 31, 2009

A ghost and Blossom, the Powerpuff Girl Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Ready to go

By KJ / Sunday, November 8, 2009

Ready to go Originally uploaded by kjda It must be said that Rory has no idea what she’s getting into here. She’s seen Sam skate, of course, but she has no concept of "ice" except from the freezer. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Bumpkin City

By KJ / Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Bumpkin City Originally uploaded by kjda I have spent my entire adult life in either Manhattan, Chicago or a small town. The result is that in any fast food chain other than Starbucks, I gaze at the menu like I’ve never seen it before, desperately interpreting. Happily, Panera Bread was not crowded, and my Dr. Pepper and blueberry muffin are bringing my feeling-a-little- better self much joy. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Great Accomplishments

By KJ / Sunday, January 3, 2010

Today I shall accomplish great things, many many great things. And in honor of those things, I will post them here, to share, as the day goes by. I have already accomplished the first: Laundry Basket Reclamation. When we returned from China, in July, I put all the things we acquired there into a laundry basket and sat it on the dog crate in our bedroom (which, as you can gather from that statement, is a very relaxing and well-designed […]

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Planet of the Helicopter Parents

By KJ / Tuesday, January 26, 2010

You MUST go read this Choose Your Own Adventure parody by Marjorie Ingall, or I will never forgive you. Seriously, you deserve this big a laugh today.

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Rory, Anxious but Coping

By KJ / Tuesday, February 16, 2010

We’re visiting my parents, much loved by all kids including Rory–but she’s never been to their house before. And we haven’t stayed overnight anywhere besides our house since we went to the Cape last summer–a place which offers many, many consolation prizes for not being home, and where Rob was with us. Here, no pool, and no Rob either. Rory is doing really well–too well, some of the time, tearing around shrieking and jumping on the sofa–but she’s also sucking […]

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Will They Appreciate That We Never Ran Errands?

By KJ / Sunday, March 7, 2010

We are not big home maintenance types around here. I do not like to grocery shop, don’t dig shopping anymore, and have the house at a stage where most of the crap can at least be pushed aside into manageable piles. There are hioe and errand-type things that I wish would just happen (for example, i just realized that we’ve completely outgrown our stroller collection, and I really wish the fairies would just come get it). But generally, on weekdays, […]

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Easter Bunny Questions

By KJ / Saturday, April 3, 2010

It’s such a beautiful weekend…the Easter Bunny would like to hide the baskets and eggs outside! (The Easter Bunny is mischievous in our house, a tradition that dates back to the time my mother forgot to put out my basket, but left it where she’d hidden it from me originally, which I think was on top of the china cabinet, and then claimed that the Easter Bunny MUST have hidden it (good save Mom, esp. at 6 am!).) Anyway, the […]

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I Don’t Want to Be Anybody I Am Today

By KJ / Saturday, May 1, 2010

I was reading a little snippet of Ayelet Waldman’d Bad Mother today. She was talking about her mother-in-law, and how wonderful she was once Waldman realized it. She described her as serene, and talked about how nice it must be to grow up in a house with a serene mother, adding that she’d grown up with temperamental, explosive mother and that she was that kind of mother herself, and so she knew all too well its disadvantages, and I thought, […]

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See Below.

By KJ / Sunday, June 13, 2010

See Below. Originally uploaded by kjda Can’t last, tho. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Kate Plus Eight Plus Chickens

By KJ / Monday, July 12, 2010

The Gosselins have been another of my guilty pleasures ever since my husband, flicking channels one night after a day of moving house with a six-month old, a two-year-old and a five-year-old, came across Jon attempting to put all six toddlers into ski suits and we settled in for a good bout of schadenfreude. I resisted their pull last season as the marriage imploded (just too prurient) but I can watch Kate parent her eight on her own with only […]

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How We Spent Our Day

By KJ / Saturday, July 24, 2010

How We Spent Our Day Originally uploaded by kjda The other half is equally impressive. Sam helped willingly for 5 hours. We did say we would pay him, but we never said how much…and he seriously never once griped. And it was HOT. I am so proud. Plus, holy crap, look at the garage. Of course I didn’t take a picture of the dumpster pile. Yesterday was my birthday, and I got some lovely gifts (silverware and a shirt from […]

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What Really Intellectual Familes

By KJ / Monday, August 2, 2010

What Really Intellectual Familes Originally uploaded by kjda Do on Vacation

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Are Girl Power Camps Really Good for Girls?

By KJ / Monday, August 16, 2010

Any mother who wasn’t at the top of the social pyramid growing up (and maybe even those who were) has meditated about what we’d like to tell our own daughters as they head into middle school and beyond. Don’t make everything a drama. Act confident, and people will be happy to be around you. Relax. Say what you mean, don’t apologize, don’t back down. We know, of course, that those aren’t lessons that can be taught by your mother, but […]

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By KJ / Friday, September 10, 2010

I am on strike. Dinner has been provided; it was tasty. Children have been suitably entertained all afternoon and are now semi-appropriately occupied (2 children coloring: check. One child legos: check. Child making repeated thumping noises, followed again and again by by “ouch” from the playroom I am not so sure about, but hey, she’s not bothering me). Dinner has not been cleaned up. The kitchen, likewise, is a horrendous mess. Atrocious. Apparently someone failed to clean it last night […]

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