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Killling Kissy for

Tonight at 8:05 I was thinking hey. I’m pretty good at this. 5 years experience and I’m gettin’ pretty slick, if I do say so myself (and since there are no multiple choice tests for mothers, I’m the only one who’s likely to say so.)

I’m tucking in the two “big kids”. The baby’s been out for over an hour. Everyone’s hair has been washed (this is an ordeal in our house). Baby had simple dinner. Big kids and I had actual pork chops with mushroom gravy and brussel sprouts. Which they ate. Really.

All’s pretty good.

Then I hear the crash.

No, this isn’t how Kissy bites it. This turns out to be the entire tray of Valentine’s Day cookies we spent all afternoon on. Sugar cookies, shaped like hearts, and then you cut out another heart in the middle, drop in a Jolly Rancher (or, in this case, a life saver, because that’s all I could find, but Jolly Ranchers work better) and it makes this very cute, very appealing to a kid stained glass cookie. Sam loves Valentine’s Day.

But they are all toast. So I beat the crap out of the dog…I’m a really bad person…and then for good measure I beat the crap out of the other dog (come on, I popped one on the nose hard and just chased the other around the house, what do you think I am, some kind of pet murderer? Oh, yes, I’m getting to that.) THen I remade the cookies. The original cookies were home made. These I made with a three year old cookie mix I found in a drawer. I don’t think the kindergardeners will know the difference. Then I stretched the remaining life savers out and it seems to have worked. The cookies…well, I’ve had worse. Not recently, but still.

And then I remembered the fish. The fish who, according to my best google diagnosis, has dropsy. Last stage dropsy, shall we say. It’s floating upside down at the bottom of the tank with a ridiculously swollen belly. It seems there’s some slim chance that antibiotic drops, available only half an hour’s drive away, might help.

Yeah.

So, more google. How to kill the fish? The apparent most humane method: clove oil. I can’t even imagine where I’d get clove oil in rural New Hampshire at nine o’clock at night, even if the kids weren’t sleeping. (I’m soloing.) The fish looks, frankly, miserable. I think letting it float upside down until I can find clove oil (have I mentioned we’re expecting snow?) is arguably worse than anything else I could do at this point. So, second best method.

I’m just hoping I remember to get the fish out of the freezer before anyone decides they want a popsicle.0 loan personal interest taxloans 10 downloan payday 100 onlinepercent home loans 103term loan 15 fixedloan personal 15000 guaranteedhome mortgage loan 1st20 payment down hoepa loan Map


239 Responses to “Killling Kissy for”

  1. chelle says:

    Oh wow …. Sounds like it started off great and ended in a bang!! Poor fish! hehe!

    (ps I still use the excellent book you wrote as a reference when looking for new books for our toddler!)

  2. Ninotchka says:

    OH MY! Is it horrible that I laughed about the fish-scicle?

    Very entertaining story. Now tell me. How do the jolly ranchers (or lifesavers) come out after baking? Are they like hard candy again? Those sound like super cute cookies. Um. Both batches. (Darned dog!)

  3. JK says:

    How humane of you.

    I should go look in google and find out if “killing a goldfish” is a top search this week. (you CAN see what top searches are… )

  4. I felt a little guilty giggling over your plight. A little. I’ve had days like these.

    Just found you throught Crazy Hip Blog Mamas. I’ll be back to read more. 🙂

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