Jingle Bells Rules

It is now time, approximately seven minutes into the holiday season, to establish a set of rules regarding the song “Jingle Bells,” which shall be as follows:

  • No version of “Jingle Bells” involving either Batman or sledding accidents shall be sung in my presence at any time.
  • No one shall attempt to work out devious ways to get around rule one. The singing of songs involving “Catman” or replacing the names of Batman and Robin with those of your siblings shall be grounds for immediate hushing and may, under certain circumstances, result in the singer’s being immediately retired to his or her room.
  • Only the original version of the Jingle Bells song shall be sung in the car.
  • And only once, per trip.
  • That is not once per trip per child in car, it is once, period.
  • A sudden inability to remember the name of the horse in the third verse of the song is not the responsibility of the driver. And who taught you more than one verse, anyway?
  • Jingle Bells cannot be sung in the voice of a robot, Little Miss Clumsy, any member of Alvin and the Chipmunks or all on one note. If you were tone deaf, we would know it by now.
  • Jingle Bells shall not be sung between the hours of 7 pm and 7 am unless required by an authorized music teacher during the rehearsal or performance of a school assembly.
  • No rehearsals for school performances of “Jingle Bells” shall be held in our house.
  • Or in my car.
  • All of the above rules also apply to the song “Over the River and Through the Woods,” and may be applied to other  songs without prior notice.

4 Responses to “Jingle Bells Rules”

  1. Mary says:

    I’m trying to develop car song rules, the first of which will be that three different kids cannot sing three different songs, in three different keys, and in two different languages.

  2. JK says:

    heh. I actually like the batman version. I guess I’m a 7-year-old. Do I know the sledding accident version? Hrm.

  3. Ruth in NZ says:

    My son (14) hates Hannah Montana songs in the car so when he has been rude it is his punishment! LOL!
    Music can be used as punishment!
    Hugs Ruth

  4. Lisen says:

    But can’t you just picture Robin in his zoot suit actally laying an egg!? It’s better than picturing the audience naked during a nervous moment.

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