Drat. I’d written a whole post about the MMRRPPH and the MHRRPH MRHHRPH, and I just can’t do it. This town is too small, and people too gossipy–but can I just ask the peanut gallery this:
Let us say that you are one of a group of parents whose children are all involved in the same, um, thingy. With an adult in charge of the Thingy. Let us call said adult the Head Hullabaloo, because I do not want you to be able to tell f the adult is male or female. And let us further say that some of the parents think the HH is the cat’s meow, because the HH is really tough on the kids and gets them to do their best, whereas others believe HH should have to sit in the uncooperative chair, because HH is really tough on the kids and makes them cry.
Let us further suppose that HH is a friend, and that HH’s method of being tough is one that also furthers a principle behind which I stand firmly, so you can see which parental camp I am in–but that doesn’t matter, except to say that both as a matter of principal and one of loyalty, I’m with HH.
Now let us say that the Â Grand Poohbahs in charge of Thingy, charged with the difficult task of dealing with both sets of parents, have called all of said parents into a meeting, and let us say that for the other parents, it is a matter both of principle (that would be a different principle than mine, let us call it principle 2) and of, yanno, bears defending their cubs. You can see, can you not, that this is going to get very, very, very ugly? That there is almost certain to be name-calling and yelling?
Now, here is the question. Remember: loyalty and principle. Do I a) attend the meeting but keep my head down, my mouth shut and hope it will somehow end without bloodshed; b) go in swinging or c) prepare a planned statement, then get all angry and and up in probably the same situation as b)?
You should probably know that I have already written a letter. But things could happen at the meeting. HH could be placed in said uncooperative chair, or condemned to shunning. Parents could start deciding to remove kids from Thingy, and it could become necessary to decide about that immediately in order to influence events. And the thing is, I know me, and I know this town and these parents. There are really only two choices: Speak, and get into trouble, but at least it’s my own damn fault, or Not Speak, and probably still have certain parents prefer not to interact with me for a while just because of presence in room, but at least be able to pretend nothing happened when passing at the grocery store. And I need to know going in, because the only way I will manage not to talk is if I have already firmly decided not to. I mean, unless there are parents heading out of the room with flaming torches or tar and feathers. So wait and see, while it’s kinda what has to happen, isn’t really the right way for me to go into the meeting. I need a plan of action, or inaction.
I would not be the only one to speak for HH (in fact, that’s a slight majority). HH knows where I stand. That’s prolly not an issue. But I, of course, will know I didn’t speak up. But then, it’s really not THAT big a principle.
OK, now you know everything. What should I do?