Lily is upset about noodles.
This is an understatement, the equivalent of saying that John McEnroe used to get upset at umpiresâ€™ calls at Wimbledon. 6-year-old Lily is upset about noodles. I put cold noodles in her lunch, not the hot ones she wanted, and as she picked her lunch up off the counter, the lack of a thermos tipped her off that this (like several other things this morning) has not gone according to plan.
She is tired. She is rushing through this Friday morning of her first week of first grade. The noodle question is unfixable at this late hour, but she canâ€™t let it go â€” sheâ€™s still alternating between sobbing and yelling at me as she puts on her shoes. Lilyâ€™s siblings (4,5, and 9) are quietly gathering their things with their heads down. The air positively shimmers with Lilyâ€™s rage and my barely contained reaction to it, and they have seen all of this play out before. The 9-year-old gently moves to help the 4-year-old zip a jacket. I suck in a deep breath and try to help Lily, who canâ€™t FIT her LUNCH INTO HER BACKPACK!!! She rears back and hits me.
â€œYou didnâ€™t pack my NOODLES!â€
This all ends with Lily in her room with her father outside her door while I drive the other children to school on time, but in the car, I am shaking with fury. Iâ€™ll have to go back for her now after I drop the others off, I will get a late start at work, Iâ€™m so mad I canâ€™t see straight, and sheâ€™s wrecked the whole day, just wrecked it! When I pick her up Iâ€™m going to make her sorry. Why does she have to be such a raving, raving, maniacal, daughter of a…
Yeah, well, that would be me.
I gave a little writing time to Lily today with this essay on Babble. I can’t count the number of times even in the last week that people have said to me of their kids “he makes me crazy because he’s just like me,” and that is what happens to me with Lily–she reminds me so much of me. And in so many ways that’s not a good thing…
I really liked the post on Babble. It reminds me of my struggles with my son. He has inherited my explosive temper and his father’s gloominess. When I lose my temper I blow up, and then quickly get over it. I have never been able to hold on to my rage very long. My boy, well, he’s more persistent than I am. He remembers small annoyances weeks later, and picks up the sulk right where he left off. I can offer him help with the tantrums, but I’m at a loss at how to handle the black moods that follow.
Yea…oNe is scatter-brained and forgetful, just like her Mom! Good times. Thankfully, twoK and Three-a got their Dad’s organizational skills. TwoK got her Mom’s temper. oNe is even tempered, unless she is hungry and low-blood sugary. Three-a is amazingly sweet, but did inherit her Mom’s ability to be a 12-speed blender.
I just saw this post on Babble–and I’m so happy to have read it. My 7 yr old is just like this. She actually didn’t get the temper from either of us–we’re pretty sure neither of us threw epic tantrums like she does–but she inherited her father’s intensity & general pessimism, and my sensitivity & tendency to cry at the drop of a hat. I’m just happy to know someone else has these issues. Let me know if you figure out any good techniques for helping her control them.