Rory is still lousy at picking up social cues.
And I’ve realized that this, above all things, is what she does that pushes my buttons. It’s part of what happened at the Aquatic Center (in the below post). I’ve realize that when I overreact to her, its often at one of those moments. I don’t care if she makes mistakes.
I don’t care if she misbehaves (I do, but I don’t–you know what I mean.) I react in a normal, good parent way when those things happen. It’s the weird social behavior that really gets me weird, too.
Because I am afraid she will never get it. That she will spend her whole life looking scared when she should look happy, or happy when someone is hurt, or not answering people who are being nice to her. My worst moments come, not in response to Rory’s worst moments, but in response to the moments which suggest that she will never fully adjust to life here.
Thus is going to take some thought before I can write about it, but I’m really happy that I’ve spotted it. I feel like knowing what triggers me (and that it’s really about my fears, and not her) is going to make our life better. And then I can think about what it really means.