1. It’s an excellent way to acquire beach towels.

2. Ditto assorted children’s clothing and swimwear.

3. Bleach and Borax are cheaper than pool chemicals.

4. Apply before pool party, not after.

5. I don’t know where your goggles are. I don’t know where anyone’s goggles are.

6. Mmmm, pool water beats toilet water any day (that’s from our dogs).

7. Bacardi piña coladas are the way to go.

8. Am never leaving my house again. At least not this summer.