You Gotta Have Teeth

One of my favorite mental mulling topics: things that everyone has to do, no matter how rich they are. I kept thinking, well, get up with a baby, but I suppose that’s not really true–you can hire someone to do that for you, even though I honestly (full frontal judgement here) don’t think that you should.
But I digress. (Someone has to have a blog with that name, don’t they?) Today’s everybody has to do it: the dentist. No matter who you are, how rich, how famous, how mindboggling, somebody has to scrape the tartar off of your teeth every six months or so. Probably even more often, and more painfully, if it’s your looks that make you the big bucks. Even Bill Gates. And the thing is, unless you live in NY or LA, there isn’t really even a rich people’s pampering dentist to go to. There certainly isn’t here. You could have more money than god, and a dental hygenist is still pretty much a dental hygenist. In fact, she oculd hate and resent you enough to make your twenty minutes pretty miserable. and there’s not a dollar that could buy your way out of it.
Or do you suppose the truly crazy rich, the Howard Hughes nutso rich, have their own? A live-in dental hygenist (I’m going to say the dentist would just pay house calls) and every night, instead of brushing their own teeth (which was formerly on my list of things everybody has to do for themselves), they lay back in their own custom dentist chair and get polished and flossed? Do you think?

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137 Responses to “You Gotta Have Teeth”

  1. JK says:

    I’ve often wondered similar things… In Silicon Valley, there are a fair number of people that have more money than God, and they have to go to the doctor right? The doctor they visit may not be aware of their status… The doctor might make them, gasp, WAIT. Do they still have to sit in the waiting room? Do they make arrangements to get right in cause in the waiting room there may be people that recognize them… I just can’t see Steve Jobs sitting in the waiting room flipping through mags, … Maybe they have people who go sit and wait for them till the doctor is ready for them and then they go in to the doctor… or maybe it’s like you suggested and they have personal doctors and dentists that make house calls. Except, how do they get the special equipment they need … I do think there are high end doctors here. I personally love my doc and our pediatrician and I don’t know if I’d switch if we suddenly got more money than God… Of course, I probably would get feed up with the “system” that I have to go through to see the doc and pediatrician and if someone told me about the “rich people” doctor and how to get in there I’m sure I’d go.

    On a related note, N & K go to the dentist today. I’m really excited about it… (can you hear the sarcasm?). We’ve been to this dentist twice with N and I’ve NEVER seen another patient there. I wonder if we’re her only ones.