This may be an exaggeration. It may be wishful thinking. It may be putting too much weight on one good day…
But I think we’ve crossed some kind of line. Yesterday was a pretty good day. The parts that weren’t good were mostly in…my head.
Today was a totally good day, and I’m looking at Rory with fresh–and more loving–eyes. I’m hearing her differently. Every hug isn’t an attempt to steal my attention away. Her little family recitation–that my Nini, that my Sam, that my Wallet, that my Mommy-Daddy–isn’t possessive, it’s adorable. How could I have missed that–even amidst her struggles, and I’m not making light of them or blaming myself entirely–she’s overjoyed to be part of our family?
Last night she hugged me at bedtime and said “my mommy!” And I said that’s right, your mommy–not in the resigned, I’ve said this fourteen times today tone I’ve been known to use, but happy right back at her, and added “your mommy, forever and ever and always.” And she giggled, and hugged tighter, and I thought–maybe she did understand that. Maybe it means something to her.
And maybe I fell just a little bit in love.

4 Responses to “Click.”

  1. Kate says:

    The process of bonding takes time and now it is happening for you. Just wait…it gets better and better. So happy for you.

  2. Cindy says:

    Seriously, this post brought me to tears. So happy for all of you!

  3. ruth in NZ says:

    I would like to say that the children don’t feel anxious about us leaving and regardless of the child’s age at adoption in reality no matter how many times we tell them that we are their parents for ever and always they need to hear it more and more and it never ends!
    My daughter last year at almost 5 when we returned to China thought we were leaving her behind no matter how many times we told her and only when we got on the plane to head home did she realise she was with us for now!
    We have very open conversations about life and she is aware that we love her and will always love her however when push comes to shove she thought we were exchanging her!
    It breaks my heart to see it in her face!
    We have to prove it to these preciuos children!
    Hugs Ruth

  4. JK says:

    Best. Post. Ever.


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