This Rory I Like

She’s getting used to us. I have judged her harshly these past weeks, this girl. I have a personal problem, which is that I invariably believe that whatever is happening right now must and will continue to happen exactly like this, world without end, forever and ever, etc. This applies with kids–Lily will always be unreasonable about the blue plate, therefore I should go buy all blue plates and just end this issue now (so last month)–and in other ways–I really like this candy, and I want to eat more of it, and I should go get more so that I will always have it, because what if the store runs out…ok, so tired of that candy now. Those aren’t the best examples, but basically I expect any phase–mine or theirs–to go on forever, when really, things end. They get potty trained, I lose interest in knitting (who was I kidding?).

Rory changes like New England weather. New things–she’s able to pretend now. To ask for help. To talk to strangers. To join into activities without it being a big deal. To take no for an answer. She’s getting…normal.


I think some of my trouble before was that because I haven’t seen Rory change, I don’t fathom the ways she’ll change. When she, in answer to any question by a stranger, would put her dead down and start screaming “MAAAH” or yell “I no want you,” I felt–well, then, that’s how she’s going to be, and how will we ever send her to school or get anyone to invite her to their birthday parties? I feared for her–socially inept, largely unpleasant, how would she–or I–manage? Why couldn’t she just act like a regular kid?

And I do believe one or two people out there said, ok, cut the kid some slack, will you?

And I do believe I bit your heads off.

So, sorry about that.

4 Responses to “This Rory I Like”

  1. Cindy says:

    I am guilty of this as well. When things go wrong or take a turn for the worse it’s hard not to panic and think this will be a permanent situation. I think being so honest about your feelings and seeing you come out on the other side as a cohesive family will give many people lots of hope. I am so happy for you, Rory and the whole family!

  2. Snick :) says:

    I think it’s a normal reaction to a new life situation. 🙂 Sleep deprivation, a busy new schedule, new personalities etc all make life that much more interesting! 😉

    Don’t beat yourself up.

    You document as you experience. We all experience difficult moments/hours/days/weeks etc…you just write it down on your blog.

    It’s refreshing! It’s real. I love it!


    Snick 🙂

  3. just last night my hubby and i sat and talked for almost 2 hours about the ways that she has changed. the changes are subtle, but wow they are changes!!! i can’t believe my little girl ever raised her voice to me and yelled! she would NEVER yell at me now! she is so close to “normal” it’s amazing. never in a MILLION years would i have thought that a few months ago.

  4. Wuxi Mommy says:

    Even though my kiddos have gone through a hundred changes, I still freak out when they seem to be stuck in a phase. I dread that it will last forever. But then, just as my sanity is all but lost, they outgrow it and move on to another phase. I’m still LOVING your blog. Your honesty is so refreshing:) I think it’s hard to be honest about the realities of coming home with an older child, especially when you’ve been waiting so long for them. Suddenly, you have them home and full panic sets in. Well, it did for me anyhow! Anyhow, I can really relate to a lot of what you share. It’s great to know that it isn’t all sunshine and roses for everybody else, either:)