Rory has a playdate tomorrow. And Sam and Lily have school. That means I get Wyatt all to myself for a couple of hours. I’m planning on some legos, some coffee, and some snuggling.
I’ve been realizing lately just how little solid attention I lavish on Rory or Wyatt. They’re such a pair! They play together nearly all the time, and even when it’s not entirely amicable play (I really wish Sam had not shown them how to shoot a rubber band) they’re very happy together. My pulling Rory into anything with me brings Wyatt right up, and the same goes for Rory. I play with both together, some, but 1) it’s not the same and 2) I’m really not going to play Candyland if I can help it, and because they have each other, I can help it!
This is such proof that every kid gets a different family. Sam had us all to himself for three years. Lily had nothin’–Wyatt came along in 20 months. Wyatt got babied and then knocked unceremoniously off that perch by Rory, who got months of me as a total Jekyll and Hyde.
There was a year–three years ago–when I was really good at spending time with each of them on their own. Circumstances, too, helped–Sam had an afternoon where the others were in other places; Wyatt had a morning without school, Lily, too, had a particular afternoon. That’s over, especially for Rory and Wyatt, who still do the same things most of the time (I expect they’ll shift off into different activities eventually, but right now, what one does, the other wants to do too). I’m a little jealous of this special thing they have together, but that’s another thought entirely.
What I am thinking, though, is that this year I can put a plan I had last year, but never executed, into practice. I can take Rory and Wyatt for a breakfast before school one day a week, alternating weeks. I’ll find an afternoon for Lily, too, and for Sam if I can (although typically he gets a whole lot of me during hockey season, while Rob coaches the rest of the kids, so I worry less about that).Â I know just what will work with Lily.
When they’re all here, and together, it’s chaos. We get a ton of family togetherness, and when I do have a babysitter, I don’t regret it one bit. But I do regret the time passing without really getting in there to talk and play with each and every one of them. It doesn’t have to be much–it won’t work out to be weekly in the end, I know. But I just want it to be something more than grabbing a hug as they run by.
“Every kid gets a different family”–that is SO true. I long for more one-on-one with each of my kiddos too…must figure out how to make that happen.
you are so on the money with this one, it is so different for each kid and how they respond to the difference totally depends on their personality, it can be great or less than great BUT it is what it is. Just for the record I think it is marvelous that you try to spend time with each of them, my kids beg me to do more with them and I am not so good about it.
Again, I say, ME TOO.