My New Secret Weapon in the Tantrum Wars

Let me just go right ahead and quote from yesterday’s post:

…every day he will shout “I hate school! I don’t want to go!” and then when I pick him up he will shout “NO! I am NOT READY TO GO HOME!” Wyatt does poorly with transitions. But for a blissful 7 hours a day (which really seems like rather a lot) that will be someone else’s problem.

Today, oh sin of sins, I was early. And it was popcorn day. And it was (sadly) my problem.

Now, mind you, this morning I said, hey, I’m supposed to pick you two up at the exact same time as Sam and Lily! How am I going to be in two places at 3:00? And we all had a good laugh, and Wyatt said, “pick us up early! You have to be early!”

And this afternoon at 2 I realized, hey, at 3:00 I’m supposed to be in two places at once, and how am I going to do that again? (Plan ahead, that’s my motto.) And I further realized that those two places are a solid 12-15 minutes apart. So ok, I thought, I will be early.

I knew it was a bad idea. Wyatt, as previously stated, does not like transitions. He particularly does not like unexpected transitions (although warning him ahead of time doesn’t help, either). He simply does not like to go from one thing to another, even when he actually wants to go on to the next thing. Which he didn’t. He wanted to stay and eat popcorn. For ten minutes. Note that even if I’d been able to spirit him into the car instantly, we were already going to be late for Sam and Lily…

It was not instant. It was pouty. It was stubborny. It was sit in your cubby and refuse to put your shoes on until Mommy walks out the door without you. It would have been screamy, but Wyatt is very aware of not being a “baby” at school. So he held that…until we got in the car.

In the car it occurred to me to do what I should have done earlier, and raid the glove box in the hope of finding candy. I KNEW there was something–and, gold mine! Two lollipops. I grab. I hand to Rory for distribution because, for whatever reason, she is still standing and Wyatt has sat in his seat (screaming. Did I mention screaming? In fact, there is a Calvin and Hobbes in which Calvin is sceaming because his mom wants him to take a bath, and his scream goes over the top of all the panels while she talks and tells him to cut it out and carries him (fingers clinging to walls, doorways) to the tub and so it is just AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! across the whole thing–this was like that. So picture him screaming this whole time. You thought it was just Rory who did that, didn’t you? No.).

Anyway, Wyatt: screaming. Rory: two lollipops. Me: belatedly realizing that the lollipops are not the same. One is more desirable. It is orange, and just slightly plumper and more delicious looking and…Rory hands Wyatt the red one.

Did I say he was screaming before? Because now he is really screaming.

I did mention the 12-15 minute drive, right?

I grapple in the glove box–more and better lollipop, please, god of things I stick randomly in my car in case I need them–Tootsie Pop! Of all the gods, I knew that one was with me. I turn around to just bribe madly away but: Rory is screaming now. And Wyatt somehow has the more desirable lollipop.

So now I’m screaming. And we haven’t left the parking lot, either. By now they could have just stayed for the friggin’ popcorn.

Wyatt screamed for the tootsie pop, which I now wouldn’t give him, for about three minutes after I restored the orange lollipop to Rory. In fact, he screamed until I got my phone, and put on the video camera, and held it up over my shoulder into the back seat and he said WHAT ARE YOU DOING and I said I’m filming you, so that someday we can all remember how much fun you were to ride with in the car.

And then he stopped. And I thought, I’ve got you now, buddy.

I hope it works on Rory.

(The video is only worth watching for the fact that, once I get the iPhone camera on him (I so should not do this while driving) he turned out to be smirking. I must have told him what I was doing before I turned it on.)

5 Responses to “My New Secret Weapon in the Tantrum Wars”

  1. Jerusha says:

    You had me with all the screaming…’cause, whew, it’s not just at my house. But then you really had me when you filmed it. Awesomely awesome!

  2. Pam says:

    Oddly KJ, I actually wanted to hear more of Wyatt’s screaming. Must ask myself why. Answer: to make myself feel better! I will try that one out sometime and post if it’s really, really loud!

  3. KJ (aka Lola Granola) says:

    If I had realized I was going to share, I’d have tried to get a better video. But my first thought was actually to call Rob and share, because those are just obviously his genes, so I blew a few minutes of shrieking on that.

  4. Thank goodness it’s not just mine!

    Mine however, did decide to grab my arm with vice-grip hands on his 2nd day of school, thus becoming “that” kid that doesn’t want his mom to leave.

  5. JK says:

    I’ve used this trick in the past, but forgot about it… must use it again. 🙂 (I’ve got some great footage of N when she wanted to sleep with about 50 (at least) stuffed animals and I said no.)

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