Raising Devils

Biscuit books, and I’m Sick of the Happy Happy

By KJ / Saturday, October 31, 2009

The book I posted was Biscuit’s Halloween. Many of the Biscuit books include the Asian cousin, or whatever she is. Don’t forget I warned you that they’re also inane…harmless, and with nice big flaps, but you won’t WANT to read them. Without going into too much detail, because I’m tired, I just want to say that I get a little tired of what sometimes feels like everyone else’s happy happy adoption blogs. It’s not that anything in particular has happened […]

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Ringleaders and Instigators

By KJ / Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I took only Rory and Lily to dinner at the home of one of their friends recently. New friends, a family I didn’t know, along with another family we were already acquainted with (the boys were home on the sick side with Rob). The new friends have two daughters, 2 and 4, and although I don’t have the impression their girls are peaceful and retired types, I’m not sure they were prepared for Rory–who took one look at their large, […]

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Backsliding and Resolutions

By KJ / Tuesday, December 8, 2009

We just did a DoubleX round-up for the Washington Post on New Year’s resolutions (can’t link, it won’t be pub’d until the Sunday after Christmas), and I realized there’s something I forgot to say. I tend to make resolutions and changes twice a year: September, and New Year’s. (I make organizational and career resolutions, usually, which are both things I enjoy, so I really like making resolutions. I look forward to these moments that spur change. Anyway, this morning, as […]

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Winter’s Tales

By KJ / Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Winter has started, in ernest, with the onset of our local ski programs. Other places have recreational t-ball, I know, and maybe year-round soccer…we have skiing. Volunteer, parent-run (which up here often means former Olympian parent-run) nordic and alpine skiing, and who wouldn’t want that? So Sam has two days a week of nordic and one of alpine (and that makes us a non-downhill family, by local standards, the kids in the racing program do 4-5 days a week at […]

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Trails are in great shape

By KJ / Saturday, February 6, 2010

Trails are in great shape Originally uploaded by kjda More later, but looks great for kids. Lily says let’s do another lap. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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A Day with the GuoJis

By KJ / Saturday, February 20, 2010

We spend an awesome day with the GuoJi famiglia–or at least three of them. Moms bonded over, well, bonding difficulties. Kids bonded over dolls and snow. We actually made dumplings–the first time I’ve done anything yet to “Celebrate Rory’s heritage” because, well, for a while there I think I had Post-traumatic quarantine syndrome. I did not want to even think about China, and that extended to Chinese New Year–but somehow, today, I at least got in a first batch of […]

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Love, that Thing That We Talk About

By KJ / Monday, March 22, 2010

It’s been a long time since I visited the “do you love her yet” question. I’ve loved very few people on sight. Most of my friends turned out to be better after you got to know them some (which, in some cases, means I didn’t like them at all until later, when I did). I didn’t fall in love with Rob when we first met. In fact, it wasn’t until about 2 years later that I looked at him, strewn […]

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Talk of the Nation

By KJ / Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I am sorry, I cannot bear to post the link to CNN. But it’s on DoubleX if you feel you must. What’s really exciting is that tomorrow I get to be a guest on Talk of the Nation on NPR. It’s one of my fave shows, and I know they just want to let me be a starting point for talking about adoption experiences. I will be on at 3:40.

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Control, that thing we all want

By KJ / Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Here is a partial list of things I am letting go of: Keeping Rory awake in the car. Any opinion about what clothes are worn outside the house. The sporting of snow boots in all seasons. The amount of cereal poured into a bowl. The amount of milk poured onto the cereal. The size, shape and intended function of the spoon with which the cereal is eaten. The consumption of fruit at breakfast. The requirement that a san dwich form […]

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Parrot!

By KJ / Thursday, June 24, 2010

Parrot! Originally uploaded by kjda The Heard museum outside Dallas has, among other cool things, a parrot that says "Hello!" I think, that from Rory’s point of view, it was as if a dog greeted her. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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The One Thing You Can Control About Your Kid

By KJ / Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Anyone who writes about parenting knows that baby names are a click-thru gold mine. Parents—and soon-to-be-parents and maybe-parents and wannabe-parents and maybe even nonparents—are endlessly fascinated with the subject of what we can, might and do name our kids. The Huffington Post offered a sneak peak at possible top girl names and boy names of 2010. The ratings aren’t based on what kids are actually named (for that, we have to wait for the annual report from the Social Security […]

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Oprah’s Dr. Phil to Unhappy SAHM: You Made a Deal

By KJ / Wednesday, August 4, 2010

From this month’s O Magazine, perhaps the most off-base advice Dr. Phil has ever given. To a SAHM unhappy without her career, Dr. Phil says, in essence, tough. “Bloom where you’re planted” has never sounded so patronizing. A mother of two writes in, saying that she and her husband agreed, before having kids, that she would stay home until they were in full-time school. Now that the kids, aged 2 and 4, are actually here, demanding snacks and generally absorbing […]

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Do Working Moms Really Still Need to Justify Themselves?

By KJ / Tuesday, August 3, 2010

At the NYT’s Motherlode blog, Lisa Belkin is reporting a follow up to a study that came out several years ago reporting that the children of working mothers were “cognitively delayed” compared to those of stay-at-home moms. Five years on, those same researchers followed those same kids and found those slight delays in some areas were outweighed by benefits in others, meaning that “the overall effect of first-year maternal employment on child development is neutral.” (No word on whether the […]

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Wiggled world

By KJ / Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Wiggled world Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

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If you’re in New Hampshire, you should vote today

By KJ / Tuesday, September 14, 2010

One of the contenders in the Republican primary may well be our next Senator, and I’m willing to bet you care which .

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Markers.

By KJ / Monday, October 4, 2010

I can’t tell you how many, many, many times I have told Rory not to write on anything with markers other than paper. Not furniture. Not the car. Not her face. Not her brother. Not Sam’s toys. Not her own toys, although I’m a little more tolerant of that. NOT ANYTHING. I have even hauled her around the house pointing at things. Don’t write on the. Don’t write on that. Is this something you write on? No. There has been […]

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Not What I Should Be Doing

By KJ / Monday, November 22, 2010

I am frittering. Oh, and doing laundry, sure, but frittering just the same. I fritter away a mean day, I do. I have Actually done the tutorial for a new piece of software I’m trying out (Scrivener). Found a rawhide for the dog. Done the email thing. More email. Did I mention laundry? I don’t know. I’ve been “working” for five hours, though. 5 hours and 25 minutes, actually. That’s embarrassing. I mean, even with the laundry. Seriously? Frittered away […]

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Ski Day

By KJ / Sunday, December 19, 2010

Ski Day Originally uploaded by kjda Enough cannot be said about how out of the woods we are with adoption and toddler-hood, etc. Wyatt is the youngest, at four, and he can: put his own ski gear on, get up when he falls, ride the jbar, get on a slowed down chair lift, and carry his boots and skis, thanks to the magnificent thing that is the boot/helmet backpack. Now, if you don’t ski, this all sounds just crazy. But […]

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Explanations, Nouns and Stages

By KJ / Saturday, January 22, 2011

Did someone say all growth is painful? Rory is gaining nouns and verbs in leaps and bounds. She’s still hard to understand, but she can say so many more things and she wants to say so many more things. Her favorite teacher told me she was a little disturbed, because she’s actually having more trouble understanding Rory lately–but I’ve already figured that out. For a long time, I think Rory would have some complex thought (for a four- or five-year-old) […]

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Kids Fight for Us, But Knowing That Isn’t Helping Much

By KJ / Wednesday, February 16, 2011

There’s no question in my mind when it comes to what my kids fight about. Mostly, they fight about me. Occasionally, they fight about one another (as in, two siblings fighting for the attention of another sibling). Once in a while, they fight about candy. But mostly, they fight about us, and even more specifically, they fight about me. Even more clearly since the advent of Rory, in our house, it’s all, all, all about who’s got Mommy’s love/attention right […]

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Sorry, Mommy.

By KJ / Thursday, March 24, 2011

There was this snack. If you get in the car, i said, to go pick up Sam and Lily (and then drive Lily half an hour to her dance class and then come fifteen minutes back to pick up the cookies for Sam’s Japan benefit tomorrow and then go back to pick up Lily and then drive half an hour home … sigh …) then you can have a snack. But what is it? Rory demanded. I’m not telling you. […]

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I need this.

By KJ / Friday, April 22, 2011

I need this. Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

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How It Could Be

By KJ / Thursday, May 12, 2011

Today: Lily’s lacrosse. Lily’s lacrosse takes place from 3:15-4:15 at the green in front of the elementary school in one of the next towns over. On the down side, it’s a solid 20 minutes there from Lily’s school, which gets out at … 3. This means we WILL be late. No matter how hard I try. I can be bright and shiny and first in the carpool line, and there we will still be: late. On the plus side, Lily’s […]

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Privileges and Responsibilities, Part 462 (or thereabouts)

By KJ / Monday, May 30, 2011

In theory, our kids have responsibilities. And they do—they pack and unpack their own lunches, they each have a weekly chore, they’re responsible for cleaning up their toys and getting their laundry in the bin. And, of course, they have privileges. We feed them, right? And take them places. And periodically buy them stuff. We’ve been having some trouble, Rob and I, figuring out how those things were supposed to be tied together. Surely if you didn’t do your responsibilities, […]

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Because I Wish I Could Play the Piano, That’s Why!

By KJ / Thursday, June 16, 2011

Who doesn’t know that the true reason we drive our kids all over to activity after activity is that we ourselves wish we had had these opportunities or these skills? To be someone who, if the chance arose, would surprise everyone by, say, sitting down at the piano for a sing-a-long, executing a perfect dive into the lake, shushing down the narrowest of ski trails or jumping a horse over a fence? (Apparently I have a secret desire to be […]

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Open to the Unexpected: La Famile Qui Vont en Velo Ensemble

By KJ / Thursday, July 7, 2011

More from France: The bike shop in St. Chinian where we rent our bikes is a very small bike shop. And in France, they take their biking very seriously. So it is a small and serious bike shop. Which means we were able to rent bikes for me, Rob and—barely—for Sam, but not for anyone else. This is what comes of vacationing in a place where, at least from the place’s perspective, no one in her right mind would vacation, […]

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The Gift of the Matchy Match

By KJ / Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Gift of the Matchy Match Originally uploaded by kjda All the matching stuff is corny. I never thought I’d do it. But they LOVE to match. Even Sam. They all, intentionally, chose the coolest matching shirts they could find on our last trip. They dig through drawers to match. I never ask it any more, except at, say, Disneyworld. It’s all down to them. But it has an unexpected benefit. Matching shirts mean no one ever says "THAT’s your […]

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Captive

By KJ / Thursday, August 25, 2011

Captive Originally uploaded by kjda Food, water and shelter. At least Lily, Rory and their two friends are complying with the Geneva Convention. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

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Conquering the Tour de Taste

By KJ / Sunday, September 11, 2011

Conquering the Tour de Taste Originally uploaded by kjda Two years ago-quite-today, the Tour de Taste conquered us. An exhausted Rory either, at mile 19 of a 20 mile ride, fell asleep on the trailer bike and fell off or threw herself off the trailer bike in a fury at being forced to continue riding (back to the car) when she really wanted to be napping. Sam, riding after Rob to bring him back to where Rory and I were, […]

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I Want Teee!

By KJ / Saturday, October 1, 2011

I Want Teee! Originally uploaded by kjda It’s very important to be able to ask for what you want. It’s also very important to listen. When we got to the pizza place, Rory had to go potty. She was jumping up and down, and I told her to run, but– "What do you want to drink?" "I wan’ tee." "Really? Tea?" "I wan’ TEEEE!" "Ok! Fine! Go!" I ordered–pizza all ’round, three fountain drinks, and one bottled drink–tea, but I […]

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The End (Draft One. The Endle? The Ending?)

By KJ / Tuesday, October 25, 2011

218 pages. 66,000 words, give or take a few. A book. About that year, that really bad year, when Rory was new and we both thought our lives had caroomed (no, really, spell-check, caroomed, I don’t know what you mean by caromed but it isn’t what I mean, not at all) to a very bad place, but only I get to write a book about it. Yet. I just finished the draft. It’s a first draft. With a lot of […]

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Cool Pout.

By KJ / Friday, November 25, 2011

Cool Pout. Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia

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I Finally Feel Like a Real Writer

By KJ / Thursday, January 19, 2012

I Finally Feel Like a Real Writer Originally uploaded by kjda Although it’s a little hard to write. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

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Rory apparently got someone else’s fortune

By KJ / Friday, June 1, 2012

Rory apparently got someone else’s fortune Originally uploaded by kjda

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