My aspirationally weekly, realistically more like monthly email of books and enthusiasms will keep your #tbr full and make sure you know what's next.
Outside the meeting Originally uploaded by kjda I am such a good citizen. Oh, except for the part where I blogging and not listening. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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Yesterday was a rough bonding day, in which I sank into something of a depression, convinced that I was ignoring all kids because I didn’t want to interact with Rory because I was so TIRED (in retrospect, it would have been quite accurate to say I did not want to interact with any kids because I was tired, and poor Rory had nothing to do with it). Anyway, I slumped on my couch, contemplating the impossibility of therapy in a […]
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The BPS invited a bunch of psychologists to name things they didn’t understand about themselves, and while some of them took it as an opportunity to muse about consciousness and neurons, a bunch kept it real, and said, in essence–if I KNOW why people make certain mistakes, and I even studied it–why do I keep making the same mistakes? We’ve all got tropes we keep repeating even when we know what we do, why we do it and why we […]
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Sam gets a weekly note home with all the homework for the week listed. For Wednesday it says “bring in a white twin sheet.” We don’t have a white twin sized sheet. Do you? We have some very, very attractive polka-dotted ones. Apparently, though, the Romans did not wear red-polka-dotted togas. What we do have is an old full or queen sized sheet, only slightly moldy, that I used as a Halloween ghost last year. Here is what I WILL […]
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We had such a great day yesterday that today couldn’t really be anything but a letdown. Let’s see…didn’t get through some work stuff, didn’t get ravioli made, didn’t make last batch of tarts, didn’t clean out closet, haven’t yet made lunches…Saturdays are WAY better than Sundays. There are a bunch of dids, but my mood is wrong to focus on those. Sam had hockey tryouts this weeked. He did make one of the travel teams, but the second tier one. […]
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New Hampshire Girl Originally uploaded by kjda Her 10th apple, at least–future tarts! KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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Rainy Saturday Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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I am slowly but surely becoming a better person, and will no doubt achieve that flawless maternal perfection epitomized by, say, Dooce in time to work it on my great-great-grandchildren. I recently managed to go from being late all the time to at least much better (and wrote about it for Parenting–look, that glam mom in the accompanying picture is me! Really!). This month (season? year? decade?) the project is: Patience. The expert coach for the moment is Rory. Because […]
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An Afternoon of Indulgence Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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School gives us a glorious level of consistency in our lives that I would otherwise be unable to achieve. Every morning, for four hours, there is ritual and order in Wyatt and Rory’s lives. Every day, for 6 hours, the same can be said for Lily. Every day, for seven hours, Sam is safe and surrounded by kids his own age, learning age-appropriate stuff at a school that suits him very well. And every day, when I get everybody back, […]
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If I’m in the kitchen making lunches (or, ideally, sticking the already packed sandwiches, etc, into the lunch boxes) during breakfast, they’re all lined up across from me at the bar. This seems to alert some sort of inner “soda bar” facility deep in the brain, as the combination of the bar, the kitchen and the breakfast makes them conclude that I am a waitress. A bored waitress. So if I’l there, they spend all of their eating time thinking […]
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I just had the following conversation with my husband: Me: Heather says Extreme Home Makeover picked a house in Lyme, and Seth’s hardware store is donating a bunch of stuff, so he’ll be on the show. They’re really excited. Rob:Yeah, everybody was talking about this in the barber shop today. And then they played the theme from the Andy Griffith show, and my wacky neighbor popped in to borrow an egg.
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Or having four kids instead of three (or two, or one, for that matter). At some point over the weekend I said to myself “Self, you have got to quit this blaming it all on Rory/having four kids business.” I had bad days before we had Rory. I had days when I felt like I would never get out of the house, that the dishes would never be done and the laundry would never be washed (Full disclosure: I have […]
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We met up with the Guo Jis today. Much, much bonding. Among those adults crazed enough to adopt themselves into biggish although not huge families–or possibly those women crazy enough to come up with it, and those men crazy enough to marry said women. But no, let us admit that we are all crazy, and that that craziness seems to spread into other attitudes–about life, mountain biking and its importance, many although not all general child-rearing practices and, I suspect, […]
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I’m over thinking I’m not cut out to be Rory’s mom, I think. My new thing is that I’m not cut out to be the mother of four. Although… Rob was out of town for the last two nights. I think he’s been away a few times since Rory arrived, but this is the first time since school started in earnest, and in a full-on, all-out week–the week with nightly swim lessons. It’s a biannual occurrence that makes me simultaneously […]
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Great, if you just whitewash it here and there. The thing is, from two on, I had to just get my skates on and GO. 2:00 pick up Sam, town, snack, buy balloons, 3:00 pick up Lily, home put together big ole’ plastic doll house, cry because we cannot play more with it and it is not ours (well, that would be Lily). 4:00 babysitter’s, share cupcakes, celebrate. 4:30 Farmer’s Market for dinner. Park, try not to get run over, […]
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You’re not laughing hard enough. http://www.lets-panic.com/
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Happy Birthday Rory! Originally uploaded by kjda Rory is four! (Well, in a few hours, anyway, and as best as we know, so there you are.) If you’re thinking “That’s a pretty lame cake for a 4-year-old, KJ,” well, you’re right. It’s also pretty tiny. But just outside the picture are the two plus dozen mini cupcakes she’s taking to school, and the extra cupcakes for breakfast, and still more to share with her babysitter and friends, it looks a […]
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Inspired by Guo Ji Mama, who updated her blog header the day her last daughter came home, I have FINALLY updated mine. Call it what you will. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe I’d just forgotten how to use Cyberduck to upload the file to my theme, or more importantly to resize the picture. Maybe I’m just lazy, and the kind of hostess who leaves the giant bottle of nature’s miracle (used to remove the scent of doggie “accidents”) on the […]
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Three solid i-friends (Mommy, Lori and the mother of Awesome Cloud) are in China right now. Some bonding troubles, not all is going perfectly–but I find myself envying them, especially those last two, who sound, at least, uncomplicatedly happy. I think China really screwed us–and this has nothing to do with Rory at all. But the quarantine…that was so hard, and so scary, even though in retrospect I can see that we didn’t need to be frightened, and so long…you […]
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World’s Biggest Thrill Ride Originally uploaded by kjda If you’re 3. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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Goofiness at the Fair Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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Best View in Town Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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Contrary to the Picture Originally uploaded by kjda Rory quite liked the Ferris Wheel. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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At the Tunbridge World’s Fair Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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We’re looking for submissions about how a major life event has altered your “religiosity”, and I suspect that many adoptive parents have a story to tell on that. Look here for more info, and feel free to tell any writerly friends.
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World’s Cutest Card Sharks Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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I don’t know about you, but I worry about my pampered bio kids sometimes. I moved and changed schools multiple times as a kid. I hated it; it was awful. My mom worked and, much as she did for me, there wasn’t anybody to bring me my lunch if I forgot it. As I got older, I had more responsibilities, and a few more baddish things to live through, etc. So I had my (small compared to, say, Jeannette Walls) […]
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Where in the World is KJ Originally uploaded by kjda Boston. Not a big trip, or an unusual one, but it’s always nice to visit a different Starbucks once in a while. The word of the day at our house this morning was compromise–and it’s a good one. We are all easing up on our need to have e rything exactly the way we want it to be. Breakfast, for example, was not precisely what Rory had in mind. Instead […]
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I’m feeling impatient and cranky today–like all I can do is gripe at people and criticize. And very touchy–as in, I worked hard on this dinner and you’d better sit down and eat it right now, and for heaven sakes don’t TALK to me while you’re doing it! Nobody is moving fast enough or being nice enough for me. Rory’s horrible wound is a little better. Sam still looks like he’s been in the wars, but I don’t think he’s […]
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We biked 18 miles today–two little kids on one double tag-a-long bike and one on a single tag-a-long. Sam and a buddy rode solo. It was the “Tour de Taste” with lots of stops for food, so it wasn’t quite the monster journey it sounds like. But it should have been 19 miles–which it turned out was exactly one mile too long. Rory went from super sport, rollicking along, talking to the other kids–to sound asleep. On the bike. I’m […]
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I posted about an acquaintance whose life changed on 9/11. . I’ve never written about it before–it’s her story–but today it finally came out right.
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Is giving to art and cultural charites moral when 24,000 kids die every day from easily preventable, poverty-related causes like diarrhea and pneumonia? Discuss. But on DoubleX, please, not here!
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School day, redux Originally uploaded by kjda I don’t wan’ go school! That pretty much sums up our morning. Our babysitter, fabulous in nearly every way, isn’t on the school night train yet (and it’s been a tough one for us to get on, too). Rory went to bed an hour plus later than she needs to. She had to be dragged out of bed. All the way to school she insisted–she did not want to go. Wyatt had some […]
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An adoption bud is in China right now, three days from meeting her daughter, and she wrote a line about “that sweet little face that needs her mama to come pick her up” and my heart just broke. Rory has a sweet little face, and she could use a mama to come pick her up, too, and in all honesty I’m still not feeling it. I like her fine. She’s swell. She’s even very special, and she’s been through so […]
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What I Really Want to do tonight Originally uploaded by kjda The bag on top is my favorite candy, finally restocked after a long absence (apparently it’s very expensive to ship candy during the summer). Yes, Rory dropped into the right family, although my candy cravings are far more selective than hers, and none of them yet have shown any sign of regarding books as candy. I also found a pair of new books to add to my kindle. Actually […]
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At dinner last night: This good, mommy! Thank you! To Wyatt, instead of a slap: You make me so MAD! (Wyatt: You make me so mad TOO!) This morning, 7 am, standing in our room fully dressed: I ready go school now! I get my shoes on! Tonight, awakened from an accidental post-dinner nap on the way home in the car (I tried to put her to bed, but it was just that much too early) and about to have […]
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Lily post-kindergarden Originally uploaded by kjda Lily’s first day pic is in my camera, so here she is painting pottery in honor of her first day!
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Take One of Me Too! Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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In Exchange for a Smile Picture Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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First Day of School Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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I have a piece in Parenting this month copping to my perennially tardy nature and the struggles I’ve had overcoming it–and let me say, it’s still a struggle, a big one, I just refuse to believe, for example, that it can take 1/2 an hour to drive to ballet, because that’s just not right. But. So last year, experts were consulted (including my mom), and changes were made, and I undertook to be an on-time person for the first time […]
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Tonight was the open house at Lily, Wyatt and Rory’s Montessori preschool. Rory was very angry that I refused to leave; this did not comport at all with what she had been told about school, which she clearly has conceived of as a place that she will go and be relieved of my constant supervision and insistence that things be done my way…boy, is she in for a surprise! The teachers have been warned…if they’re not in charge, she will […]
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She’s getting used to us. I have judged her harshly these past weeks, this girl. I have a personal problem, which is that I invariably believe that whatever is happening right now must and will continue to happen exactly like this, world without end, forever and ever, etc. This applies with kids–Lily will always be unreasonable about the blue plate, therefore I should go buy all blue plates and just end this issue now (so last month)–and in other ways–I […]
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I totally love Rory now–no hesitation–which makes it ok for me to say this: sometimes I like being mean to her. In a totally virtuous way, of course. I just reviewed the dvd of Olivia for DoubleX, and in one episode, Olivia refuses to wear her soccer shirt–she doesn’t like dressing like everyone else-and she’s rewarded, in the end, by getting to play goalie and saving the game, and I just wanted to slap that pig upside the ears. Sometimes […]
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I’m having a moment. Summer is over, it is oh so very much over. Sam is back at school, and the others go back next week, and the luxury of having so many days stretch out before us with little planned is utterly gone, and I am feeling like I wasted so much of it caught up in my own stuff. Sam will turn 9 next year–nine!–and time is passing. I should have spent the whole summer holding his hand. […]
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Wyatt’s my baby. My buddy, my beloved littlest one and the only one who looks like me. When I got to our sitter’s today I heard him sobbing through the window, and I rushed in–pausing to give Rory a hug on the way–calling what’s wrong, Wy? He didn’t want to come home, that’s what’s wrong. Now, I know Heather’s house is a haven of legos and turtles and popsicles (and it’s SUPPOSED to be, I love that they love it […]
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Send a letter, help a family: Friends over at Guo Ji Famiglia have been working to bring their little girl home from Guatemala for over three years now (yes, you read that right). She’s legally theirs, and in every way–they’ve been taking care of her from afar for years. Guatemala has been all over the case, and the biological mother has come to court to say, in person, that yes–she wants her daughter to be adopted by this family. A […]
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