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I was reading a little snippet of Ayelet Waldman’d Bad Mother today. She was talking about her mother-in-law, and how wonderful she was once Waldman realized it. She described her as serene, and talked about how nice it must be to grow up in a house with a serene mother, adding that she’d grown up with temperamental, explosive mother and that she was that kind of mother herself, and so she knew all too well its disadvantages, and I thought, […]

A Gnome! Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

The go-to punishment in our house is a common one: go to your room. Now, I know that that’s a hot-button for Rory–go away from me, because you’re bad–and although she gets the sending, she rarely gets the leaving (other attempts, like a time-out chair and such, failed). She gets an immediate parental visit, a hug, a reminder of why she’s there, and nearly always, instant release–which she then inevitably refuses to take. I’ve talked about this before–how hard it […]

Perfectly Happy Originally uploaded by kjda At least until the ride home! That’s Lily playing soccer, very happily, in the rain. Today was a big deal for her–although she’s played hockey for two years, it’s always been overshadowed by Sam’s play. He doesn’t do soccer, and today, the whole family had to load up and go–for her sake, not his. We have attended so many games and practices and pick ups–it’s always come on! we have to take Sam! We […]

Putting in the peas Originally uploaded by kjda We’re probably a little late, but we planted peas and facade beans today. Like our fancy teepees? Also on today’s agenda–cheeseburgers, on the charcoal grill (actually, the charcoal smoker, which I also use as a grill, and in part because it’s supposed to rain this week–good for seeds, bad for grilling). Everyone wanted, for some reason, to put on their own cheese. I’m thinking they may have done this at a friends’ […]

In the the wake of the Torry Hanson case, I wrote a piece for Slate Magazine (where I’m a regular contributor to the DoubleX section) that my editors there titled “I Did Not Love My Adopted Child,” or, if you came to it from the first page, “I Didn’t Love My Foreign Adopted Kid at First, Either.” I liked the second title better–and actually proposed changing the first; I wanted to call it “Adoption Sucks–But that’s No Reason Not to Do It.” […]

Modern Fun Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Our lives if we still lived in NYC Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

I just want to say that I truly believe this was the first rainy saturday I have spent wholly at home with no real plans and no big activities since Sam was born, so almost nine years ago,that I haven’t wanted to rip my one arm off and beat myself to death with it by dinnertime. Around here that counts as a good day. I am not ignoring the question of whether I got flak for the slate article–I just […]

Sprouts! Originally uploaded by kjda Now that I’m done being the flavor of the week, the most interesting news around here is that the Brussels Sprouts and Broccoli have sprouted! (They’re from the same plant family, so it’s nut too surprising they’d be first together.)This is our first year growing the garden from seed (you can expect to read about it in Kiwi next spring) and we have four little grow shelves of seeds. We planted over the weekend, and […]

I am sorry, I cannot bear to post the link to CNN. But it’s on DoubleX if you feel you must. What’s really exciting is that tomorrow I get to be a guest on Talk of the Nation on NPR. It’s one of my fave shows, and I know they just want to let me be a starting point for talking about adoption experiences. I will be on at 3:40.

Since no one can talk to Torry Hansen, currently in the running for worst parent ever, and I’m the author of I Did Not Love My Adopted Child  (please note that a) I did not write the title and b) past tense! Past tense! I wanted to call it Adoption sucks. But that’s no reason not to do it.), a bunch of people wanted to talk to me, which is how I ended up on CNN tonight. Mostly it was in […]

Party! Originally uploaded by kjda Look at the bar my hostess set up…I love parties. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Today was an easy day with nicely set apart activities, little rushing–it should have been so easy. But I decided I needed to do something on the computer during the hour in between one thing and another (order a new bike helmet) and then it took longer than I expected, and then, oh, then, Wyatt took my whatever! Rory wont let me have my turn! Lily not hellpin’ me! In other words, from all three, loud and clear: pay attention […]

Rob is a big Duke fan, and I really wanted to keep him company for the game. I spend too many nights off on my computer or grousing about making lunches, and it’s easy to get disconnected. And I have personally been struggling with deadlines and time crunches and a feeling like I will never get to where I want to be, and it’s made me unnecessarily grumpy– which is insane, given that we basically live a life of no […]

It’s such a beautiful weekend…the Easter Bunny would like to hide the baskets and eggs outside! (The Easter Bunny is mischievous in our house, a tradition that dates back to the time my mother forgot to put out my basket, but left it where she’d hidden it from me originally, which I think was on top of the china cabinet, and then claimed that the Easter Bunny MUST have hidden it (good save Mom, esp. at 6 am!).) Anyway, the […]

It’s getting pretty deep around here–meaning that our many belongings are gathering forces in various piles and preparing to take over the house, or at least the space we would prefer to use to walk it. I meant to deal with it this afternoon, but my lovely friend Mimi invited me over to drink Sangria and watch the kids play in the sprinkler instead, and–well, at least when we’re not some, what already IS clean stays clean! But this weekend […]

Sprinkler in April Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

I pin stuff on Rory–and why not, she’s the most interesting of the lot right now, and the one for whom I get to come up with all of these reasons for her behavior…but really, all three “littles” make me crazy, and all three of them have some of the same issues, which are probably–somehow–my issues. And so I ask. with passionate interest–why do they always want me? Truly, Rob is a MUCH nicer person than I am. Way more […]