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Just in Case You Visit Me

By KJ / Monday, January 16, 2006

Here is a brief list of things that actually would be helpful: Buckling any child into his or her car seat at any time. Any form of playroom cleaning, dishwasher loading or table wiping that is done without making a big deal out of what you’re doing, so that I feel bad for not doing it myself. Putting any child into a coat or shoes that is appropriate for the weather when we are about to go out. Reading to […]

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These Things Do Not Happen to Good Housekeepers

By KJ / Friday, January 13, 2006

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All Manuscripts MUST…

By KJ / Tuesday, January 10, 2006

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Unquestionably the Lamest Last-Minute Show and Tell Ever

By KJ / Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Picture026.jpg, originally uploaded by kjda. Sam, stricken, as we walk into school today: It’s Show and Tell Day! Me: Oh. Sam: And we can’t pick something from the classroom anymore! I need something! It is clear there is no point in suggesting that he just not give a show and tell today, not if I want to get out of there without tears. I suggest that I’ll go to the car and look for something. The car is not the […]

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Stop Kicking Me! I’m Down!

By KJ / Monday, January 9, 2006

#3 has been resolutely kicking and pushing at one particular spot on my left side for weeks now. Today he (accepting ultrasound version of sex even though I’m not invested in it, for convenience sake) outdid himself. By 2:00 I was nearly in tears. Tylenol is no help, and if you thik about it, would it be? If you had a big giant bruise and I kept poking it, would you take a little mild painkiller, or would you punch […]

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13 Things Hanging Off My Refrigerator

By KJ / Thursday, January 5, 2006

1…. An Emergency contact list for the babysitter. If you look behind it (please don’t) you’ll find information about what to do in the event of both my and my husband’s horrible demises (demeese?) because once we took a plane trip without the kids, and, well, that’s just the way I am. 2. An Olivia the Pig magnet. 3. Anti-W New Yorker cartoon mocking the heartland. (I was born in the heartland, I can mock it.) 4. A toy that, […]

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It Only Seems Like Forever

By KJ / Tuesday, January 3, 2006

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By KJ / Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Watching the build-up the Rose Bowl made me remember one of my favorite techniques for handling the many, and nearly always male, detectives and cops I worked with in the NYC District Attorney’s office. My boyfriend/husband was an ESPN addict, and although I had no trouble tuning out SPorts Night, some of it invariably sunk in–and it went farther to create a rapport than anything I could have done short of growing a penis and turning Irish. If I were […]

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Just a Temporary Truce

By KJ / Friday, December 30, 2005

I refuse to wave the white flag, but there is now no way I can meet that Dec. 31st deadline. All my babysitting for the end of the week has fallen through, so unless I skip the New Year’s Eve party we’re supposed to attend in favor of drafting, there’s no way for me to get anything done. Even today, I kept thinking–what about tonight? And tomorrow night? But it’s time to be realistic. We came home from the holidays […]

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Uh-Oh, the End Approaches

By KJ / Monday, December 26, 2005

The end of the year, and I am not finished with my draft. The holidays gained momentum and then overtook. But I still maintain hope. 5 days remain. 5 days in which to draft…well, to be honest, I haven’t counted, and I don’t think I will. But I’m off, now, to see if I can’t manage maybe just one scene before bed. Just one, just one, just one small scene. Even half a scene is far better than none.

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By KJ / Thursday, December 15, 2005

So, old lady in the grocery store, you win. I am sorry that my two children and their mini-carts momentarily blocked your progress through the grocery store. I am sure you have many, many other important things to do, and hopefully you’re expending most orf your patience on them. That’s the sarcastic bit. But actually, I really am ashamed that either a) they can’t push those damnable little carts of horror nicely, without freezing in mid aisle to determinedly chew […]

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The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: 2005 edition

By KJ / Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Every year the Byliners on The Well (my favorite online community of freelancers and roustabouts) post “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”– a little annual review of career, life, and just a touch of politics. Here’s mind (feel free to do to same on your blog, and let me know). The Good: Broke into 4 national magazines in one way or another. First essay accepted for national mag. Finally have some strong recent clips. Finished co-author book, edited, well […]

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Copping Out, or Coping?

By KJ / Sunday, December 11, 2005

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Chug Chug Chugging along

By KJ / Thursday, December 8, 2005

I’m on target to finish the draft. I am really going to do it this time. It’s really, really going to happen. Not just if I tell you ten times it might be true, but really. Oh, and there’s the little matter of a professional, paying assignment to get done this week and next, too, but I feel good. I can do it. I can pull this off. Work is heating up for R., which makes my duties on the […]

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No 50,000 Words for Me!

By KJ / Friday, December 2, 2005

I won’t be posting a NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) finisher medal here. In the end, I wrote more like 8,000 words, although I did manage a fair amount of work this past month–just not on the novel. I sent article queries, I polished and sent out an essay, I traveled…well, excuses. Good ones, but excuses. But this is no month for querying or sending out essays, and so this is it, the final draft push. It can be short, […]

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The Thanksgiving Weight-loss Plan

By KJ / Monday, November 28, 2005

1) Eat all meals with eighteen-month-old on your lap. Succumb to her demand that you give her all the good bits. Martyr yourself by refusing to let anyone else sit with misbehaving child in the car. 2) Visit someone who, if that person saw the way you usually eat while pregnant, might say things like “oh, of course you can eat that way, but I have to be careful.” Which almost sounds like a complement–but isn’t. It’s one of those […]

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Third

By KJ / Tuesday, November 22, 2005

This is wholly stolen from a friend of mine, who’s website I would link to here if she’d let me, although it would be risky because she has, probably wisely, chosen to keep her site wholly anonymous, but: The best thing about being pregnant with your third baby is that when people smile wisely at you and say “Is it your first?” you shake your head and say “Nope. Third.” And then they just back slowly away. No advice, no […]

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A Little Party Post-mortem

By KJ / Sunday, November 20, 2005

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In which I clear up the Mork from Ork reference

By KJ / Thursday, November 10, 2005

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Maternity Jeans

By KJ / Tuesday, November 8, 2005

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