My aspirationally weekly, realistically more like monthly email of books and enthusiasms will keep your #tbr full and make sure you know what's next.
The playmobil and the puzzles are back. One can take things off the shelves in the playroom and return them. There is some suggestion that there might be a place for everything and that everything might go into its place. And I am frozen. Inertia, whatnot, and I haven’t cleaned a thing today. Blech.
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and I’m not afraid to use it. We are drowning in stuff here, climbing over it in the basement, shoving it into cabinets, packing it into boxes…years of hoarding hand-me-downs and “maybe we will use that someday” have left us with a house that almost cannot be cleaned–all we ever seem to do is move stacks from one spot to another. We’re REALLY trying to change that. Oh, it’s not all environmentally incorrect. Old tech gear goes to Best Buy […]
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Don’t Let KJ Draw the Pigeonbrought to you by Livescribe To really enjoy this, go to “full screen” and, at the bottom of the screen as it starts, click the bottom wavy line which will “hide preview.” That lets the drawing appear from nothing. You can then go back to the blog (icon in top right corner) any time and it will stay that way.
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We do Halloween big here. BIG. So big that I have yet to finish clearing up, so big that I have yet to recover. Not big in the yard full of lights and inflatable vampires big, but still big. It encompasses Friday in prep, Saturday in party and Sunday in, of course, Halloween itself. I am still recovering. In the course of it we failed to help Lily do any schoolwork. She aced her spelling test and all five bonus […]
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My bad tonight–letting all four kids take ice cream in the car. Not cones, cups, and in Lily and Sam’s case, more like milkshakes (FriendZs, to be exact). I don’t usually even let them EAT in the car. But circs prevailed in a not particularly interesting way, and the ice cream was successfully eaten, until (you knew there was an until, right?)… Rory announced that she was done. At this point we were at the hockey rink picking up Sam, […]
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Of course, tonight I ended up making lunches… I have a neighbor, and fellow blogger ( I LOVE reading blogs of people I actually know) who does “Parenting on Track.” I haven’t read up on it, so I only know about the program through her and others’ stories, but I always want to argue with the absolutes that the systems seem to impose. For example, I’m pretty sure you can never, ever pack your kid’s lunch for him or her. […]
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Circumstances tonight were grim. Rob was unexpectedly called out of town. He’ll be gone all week. My one and only volunteering effort had a major requirement tonight. I’m still sick. Halloween, with its accompanying glories, is but a week away, and there remains a huge party to be planned and costumes to be created… Last minute help arrived in the form of one of my best friend’s daughters, tenth grade and prime for babysitting, and, because it was us (and […]
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I am sick, sick with a sinus infection. This means I can be upright and go about my daily business, of course, without expecting or needing much additional consideration from anyone–after all, it’s only a sinus infection! And I’m on antibiotics! So really, I should be able to cook dinner, and carve pumpkins, and everything else, just right on schedule. And I have. But oh, I am miserable…my ears haven’t popped, except for an occasional brief interval driving up our […]
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Sometimes it seems like I learn all my parenting lessons from kids in the back seat. This morning, after we dropped off Sam and Lily, I heard Rory determinedly repeating to Wyatt in the back seat what sounded like “FPLIDT, Wyatt, FPLIDT!” “What?” Wyatt was asking. “What do you want me to do?” “FPLIDT!” “Spit? Hit?” This went on for some minutes, and I thought I heard Rory getting frustrated. She has a small speech difficulty, and any double consonants […]
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First, let me say that I know from tough questions bubbling up from the back seat. I have already handled, on previous occasions, the question of what war is, an explanation of gay marriage and, regarding racial discrimination, “but that was all a long time ago, right?” And I have fielded, also while driving, a lengthy discussion among all four kids regarding why and how my youngest son, then three, could indeed “get a baby” if he chose to marry […]
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I am taking a break, a breather, un petit vacances. From everything, lucky me. Well, everything except my head cold. No escape from that. Rob and I are with friends, having some adult time, and the kids are with grandma, having some time with someone who doesn’t say no to things lime making ink to try to write with a feather quill. I think this is good for us all.
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I can’t tell you how many, many, many times I have told Rory not to write on anything with markers other than paper. Not furniture. Not the car. Not her face. Not her brother. Not Sam’s toys. Not her own toys, although I’m a little more tolerant of that. NOT ANYTHING. I have even hauled her around the house pointing at things. Don’t write on the. Don’t write on that. Is this something you write on? No. There has been […]
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It’s been a tough night around here. Hockey tryouts are over, and Sam skated his best. His dad, who watched, expected him to make one of the two middle of the four teams (that would be white or blue). He rode home in the car anticipating looking at the roster–would it be up? Who would be on his team? He was so excited. You can tell this is going to end badly, can’t you? It does. He made the red […]
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Country living is batting 1 for three today. On the one hand, the kids spent yesterday’s rainy afternoon, romping, looking for frogs, walking in the puddles on the dirt road from a neighbor’s house. On the other, we have three floods in the basement (unfinished and full of crap, but still) and the bottom of our driveway washed out–it’s still passable, but not by much. The rain seems to have passed, the clouds are hanging a little more lightly over […]
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I don’t ask much. I swear I don’t. I want them to empty their lunch boxes after school. I want them to pack their own lunches (with help, in the case of Wyatt and Rory). I want them to put their clothes in the laundry hamper, turned right-side-out. That’s it, really, although I rounded off with table clearing, dog feeding and two area clean-ups, all assigned as a team. And bought a star chart, and tried to put them on, […]
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One is better than two Originally uploaded by kjda The cookie in front is an orange kiss. The one Rory is eating is chocolate chip. The choice was two small kisses or one big chocolate chip. Wyatt loves the kisses. In fact, they are why we are here. Rory chose two kisses over one chocolate chip. She didn’t like the kisses. I knew she wouldn’t, but it wasn’t worth arguing. Lily does, so I saved them for her and went […]
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Lily is upset about noodles. This is an understatement, the equivalent of saying that John McEnroe used to get upset at umpires’ calls at Wimbledon. 6-year-old Lily is upset about noodles. I put cold noodles in her lunch, not the hot ones she wanted, and as she picked her lunch up off the counter, the lack of a thermos tipped her off that this (like several other things this morning) has not gone according to plan. She is tired. She […]
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This is a common complaint among adoptive parents–we hear that phrase all the time. Oh, we’ve thought about doing that! I usually take it as being a way of identifying with our family, and a nice thing–a sort of way of saying, hey, we get you and we don’t think you’re weird and crazy. (Which is of course wrong, but we like to hear it just the same.) But sometimes it’s frustrating. Because you could, you know. I suck at […]
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In introducing a guest post I wrote for the NYT’s Motherlode blog, , Lisa Belkin quoted a friend of hers, an adoptive parent, as saying “I have faced the fact that my daughter is only mine because I have more money than her birth mother.†Lisa notes that her friend considers that a simple reality of adoption, but one that is rarely spoken aloud. My guest post was about another reality of adoption–adopting the child who already has a family, […]
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Rory had a (mostly) glorious day, and we also had our first “adoption moment.” For Rory, it was special snack at school with a mommy visit (Rainbow meringues and rainbow fruit cups, an inspiration, because a) Rory doesn’t really like cupcakes and b) the school expressed some anti-cupcake thoughts, proposing “healthy cupcakes” or maybe “special cheese and crackers.” Neither of those would have worked for Rory, who has had rainbows on her mind ever since Wyatt’s birthday last March, when […]
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Tonight We Brushed Krypto Originally uploaded by kjda Seriously. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone
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A few posts ago, I talked about how I’d decided not to write a letter to Rory’s new teacher singling her out in any way. I felt confident–and underneath it, I felt certain that said new teacher, and new assistant teacher, would already have a pretty full scoop. After all, our last year had been unusual. And it had ended with what I saw as a pretty negative assessment of Rory from one teacher in particular, who said she couldn’t […]
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Less lush butterfly quarters Originally uploaded by kjda It was a thing sheets came in. The one that hatched is the cocoon we had given up on, it fell-the monarch looks pretty stunted. Then the one rolled up in the leaf is about to hatch. I think the third one has a few days to go. Sam wants to take them to school. He says they will tag them. I have no idea how. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone […]
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Free Range Children Originally uploaded by kjda I keep waiting for someone to come tell me to make them get off, but no one has. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —
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Last week, Rory’s beloved babysitter, who is pregnant with her third, was put on bed rest. From Rory’s point of view, she disappeared with no warning–I was traveling, and it was all we could do to get all the kids and their needs covered, let alone get Rory over to see her Heather. We explained, of course we did, but Rory was bit suspicious and very clearly thrown off course. She liked all the activities that filled in for Heather, […]
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Most of us had friends as kids that we promised, with mixed results, to love forever—but what must a friend from your orphanage, from your foster home, from your past mean to a kid? We adopted Rory at nearly four, and from the first, she’s been asking for “Bethany.” As often as she cried for her foster mother and father, and maybe even more often, she cries over Bethany. She wants to see her. She lingers over the pictures we […]
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I’m off to New York for a couple of days. I’m gonna see some people, do some stuff and head for this DoubleX comedy event. And I’m going to be alone, alone, alone, blissfully, Greta Garbo-y alone. Except for when I see people and I’m not. Everyone knows you can love your husband with extraordinary passion and your children suitably less so, or equally-in-a-different-way or however you want to put it, and still need a couple of days in your […]
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One of the contenders in the Republican primary may well be our next Senator, and I’m willing to bet you care which .
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Kids on Bikes Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —
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Kids on Bikes Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —
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Kids on Bikes Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —
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Tour de Taste Originally uploaded by kjda Better pic! KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —
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Tour de Taste Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone — KJ Dell’Antonia Twitter.com/kjda
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I am on strike. Dinner has been provided; it was tasty. Children have been suitably entertained all afternoon and are now semi-appropriately occupied (2 children coloring: check. One child legos: check. Child making repeated thumping noises, followed again and again by by “ouch” from the playroom I am not so sure about, but hey, she’s not bothering me). Dinner has not been cleaned up. The kitchen, likewise, is a horrendous mess. Atrocious. Apparently someone failed to clean it last night […]
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Lily has officially been a first grader for a week, and she is exhausted. Exhausted to the point of after-school sobbing, exhausted to the point of incoherence. This afternoon I was on the phone, making plans with a neighbor for her little girl to come over and play with my youngest three while her older kids went to soccer practice, when I was interrupted by a wail of misery from Lily, who was emptying her lunch box. “AHHHHH! NOooo! Ohh […]
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First Day of School #2! Today was Rory’s second “First Day of School.” There’s a new head teacher in Rory’s classroom this year; one who appears to have certain fairly defined expectations for how things will go. Last week, she invited each student to come in to meet her, bringing something to show her—a book, she suggested, or something important—and to see the changes in the classroom. We adopted 4-year-old Rory last summer, and she brought, as she will always […]
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It’s fall. You’ve probably noticed…not that the weather feels particularly fallish, and not that the leaves are changing, etc., but once the kids go back to school it’s fall, and the last of my kids goes back to school Wednesday. And I am once again realizing that as they go back, I go back too. Not back to work–I’ve been working all summer, in a failing effort to do every bit as much as I did during the school year […]
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One year. Actually, one year and 2 months. I didn’t think a year meant that much, once we hit that year. I’m just not feeling the milestone, I said. This is still hard, it still doesn’t feel worthy of some sort of “this-is-how-we-were-meant-to-be” record. I suspect that maybe isn’t my style, anyway…that this is how we are will always be what’s important to me… But thatsnnot my point. We’ve hit our stride, I feel–as I said a few days ago, […]
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Caterpillar Poop Originally uploaded by kjda It’s not a new cuss phrase. It’s what we do around here in playdates. These are our caterpillars. We found them last Friday. They were all the size of that tiny one. We put them in jars, because that is what you do here in late fall; if no one in your family is not in some way involved with the life cycle of the Monarch, then you are not having a full Upper […]
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Caterpillar Poop Originally uploaded by kjda It’s not a new cuss phrase. It’s what we do around here in playdates. These are our caterpillars. We found them last Friday. They were all the size of that tiny one. We put them in jars, because that is what you do here in late fall; if no one in your family is not in some way involved with the life cycle of the Monarch, then you are not having a full Upper […]
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But minor ones… Let me first say, as an aside, that Blueberry Shrub, a drink I made after reading a wildly enthusiastic description of it in the NYT magazine, tastes very much like something you would make Easter Eggs in. I don’t know why I’m surprised…I think I will try using it in salad dressing. That said, I am sitting here drinking it and having Paz flashbacks. Mistakes: first of all, we allowed I sufficient prep time last night between […]
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I’m not exactly ready for school to start. It’s just that, given that it’s going to start, that the inevitable march of time will draw us inexorably onward, I would just as soon things START ALREADY. There’s this whole processing and adjusting and sorting thing coming at us like a freight train, and in my head, I’m already on it. But in reality, of course, I just have to let it spin out. Tonight we nibbled at it. Sam and […]
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Lily, about to ride pandamonium Originally uploaded by kjda It twists, it spins and Dory and Sam won’t do it. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —
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Wiggled world Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —
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You know your grocery store is indulging in multiple tricks, nudges and persuasion to get you to spend more. We’re all educated consumers, and we’re much harder to fool with that whole Oreos on the end-of-the-aisle display, store brands in the middle thing than we once were. But some of the manipulation plays out beneath the radar: who knew the pattern on the carpet was set up to lead you deeper into the store? Women’s Day magazine has an article […]
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Long day here. Lots of shuttling and shuffling, a little dose of art camp, the brilliant idea to take all kids to the beading store. All of which went fine, it was just–after all my happy post yesterday, I have to say I felt overwhelmed. The day started with me breaking yet another glass milk bottle, this time in the garage, just as we were leaving to pick up our poor carpool-ee. Got that cleaned up, forgot Sam’s bike for […]
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Yesterday was the 90th anniversary of the 19th Amendment. You probably know what that was, but I’ll bet that’s only because Sarah Palin made some rather clever comments about ewoks in marking that date. Come on, a week ago today, how many of you would have correctly answered an open ended question like “what is the 19th amendment to the constitution?” I’m not sure I could have done it, and I’m a former lawyer and an “A” student. I wouldn’t […]
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We have hit our stride. Rory has been home for almost 14 months, and it’s time to call it good. And oh, it is such a relief. The past year been like hitting my head against a wall, in that it’s so much better now that it’s stopped. I’ve never, ever been so glad that a year was over, and I would repeat sixth grade before I’d live through the first six months again. Of course, we had our beautiful […]
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Lily lost a tooth! Originally uploaded by kjda Alert the tooth fairy!!! KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —
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