Raising Devils

I’m pretty much through yesterday’s bad funk. I’ve infected poor Rob with it, though, and I don’t think he likes me very much right now. Not that I like me much lately, either. But we’ve always soldiered through that before, no reason not to think we will again. I’m struggling with my novel rewrite, too. When it goes well, I’m on top of the world. When it doens’t–I just opened the file and realized the character I’ve just brought in […]

I know, I know, that I get depressed when a) I need more sleep and b) it’s going to be too long before I have writing time again. So I should be able to just go to sleep and push the little black clouds off again, right? I think most of us know depression doesn’t quite work that way. The truth is that around here, we loathe weekends, which doesn’t really bode well for our marriage or family life, but […]

Other than that, all I have to say tonight is, why am I still awake? I’m feeling quite low. It’s evident that Lily has pinkeye, which will necessitate an hour and a half excursion to the doctor, as they no longer just take my word for it (or anyone’s; it’s not like I’m some sort of pinkeye boy who cried wolf). It’s like a giant, ugly conspiracy to keep me from writing. Which I’m evidently a part of, as here […]

Reddy #2 died. Full disclosure to Lily, who flushed him herself and agreed to adopt Sam’s dramatic looking swordtail, which he agreed to if he was allowed to help name it. So, Lightening, who’s been alive in the tank for nearly a week now, becomes Lily’s special fish. He’ll probably be belly-up tomorrow. So bedtime rolled around with excruciating slowness after a very long day. Lily’s been making bedtime a thing of misery and threats for weeks now, and tonight […]

Remember Kissy, ?-February 13, 2007 She (well, whatever) was Lily’s special fish, the only one she had picked out and, with encouragement from Sam, named. When she died (again, whatever), we went the honesty death route. She died, I told Lily. Why? She was sick–very very sick, fish sick. Why? I don’t know. Where is she? She couldn’t swim anymore, and she couldn’t breathe, and she died. Why? I don’t know, but she’s gone. The next day, Lily said sadly […]

The best things about the past 24 hours: We weren’t, like certain friends of ours, camping out overnight in an unheated cabin. Good news anytime, but if most of the family is going to spend the night hunched over the toilet, it’s definitely a plus that there IS a toilet. I wasn’t pregnant, so I didn’t have to both barf and panic; I could concentrate on the barfing. No one threw up on anything that couldn’t be cleaned with relative […]

My friend over at Three Little Girls is talking about natural childbirth today–or at least, intervention free childbirth. When it comes to intervention, she’s against it. Too high a c-section rate in this country, etc. She pulled off her births without epidurals, too–great if it works for you, and maybe marginally safer, but you don’t get a gold star to wear around afterwards. I know; I’ve done it both ways. You really should get a star–in fact, you should get […]

Because I have just realized that I am sufficiently cool, just the way i am. Really quite extremely cool. Probably much cooler than you, no matter how much you know about sports or how quickly you can drink a shot. I went to a college (Kansas State) with a decent team, a rivalry, star players, etc. Camped out in line for tickets. Learned the name of the coach. Went to games. Kept up, afterwards, sufficient knowledge to participate in conversations […]

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For months, I struggled to get Wyatt to bed. And he’d wake up, and I’d struggle again. I’d try to nurse him chock full so that he’d sleep a long time, but all I managed to do was persuade him that if he woke up, I’d fill that belly again. I’d known for weeks, if not months again, that it was time to act. But I also knew that that wasn’t going to be easy–as in, I wasn’t going to […]

Tonight at 8:05 I was thinking hey. I’m pretty good at this. 5 years experience and I’m gettin’ pretty slick, if I do say so myself (and since there are no multiple choice tests for mothers, I’m the only one who’s likely to say so.) I’m tucking in the two “big kids”. The baby’s been out for over an hour. Everyone’s hair has been washed (this is an ordeal in our house). Baby had simple dinner. Big kids and I […]

So, I just got an email from a friend promoting a book written by one of her friends. It’s The Feminine Mistake: Are We giving Up to Much?, and it looks to be an honest assessment of the affects of quitting one’s job in order to raise one’s children, with something of an emphasis (as one might gather from the title) on why that might not be such a great idea after all. I’m planning on reading it; I’m hoping […]

Wyatt is in that must pull up, must stand, must get tooth or something phase. Lily is in the “lie down with me” phase. They don’t sleep, or not for long. I had to take a break from writing this post to put Lily back to bed. If it were just one or the other, we could tag team, retrain, something… but it is both, and we are just barely treading water. And again. And again. In fact, she’s sitting […]

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Music class this week–our last class, my last one ever unless my better nature takes over on Wyatt’s behalf. Of course both kids were flawless, adorable, Lily dancing with her friend and Wyatt showing off his new clapping abilities. I realized, as I never had before, that the real reason to go to these things is to show off how cute and smart your kids are. I should perhaps say that the reason I’ve never spotted that before is that […]

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Getting this place in shape to show has me reeling and dealing…I’m not writing, I’m not reading, I’m just clean clean cleaning along. I really hope to be back soon!america loan motorcycleloan one financing finance car americaproblem unsecured america loantitle loans car americanequity loans home american dreammaximum amount va loanloan $1000 cash$40,000 loan personal Map

Lots…so posting is, has been and is likely to be slow. We bought a house…which means cleaning. Big time. The house must appear spacious and full of storage, like a dream from a Pottery Barn catalog. With toys. Maybe a Pottery Barn kids catalog. Which means work, and lots of it. And don’t even get me started on the plans for the new place! There’s not THAT much…but its not nothing. So if you’re wondering where I am… xanax buy […]

Yesterday at the grocery store I completely lost my head. This was partly thanks to the entertaining musings of Caitlin Flanigan in To Hell With All That, which we read for book club. Flanigan is always fun to read. For one thing, she’s a person who can see the guilty side of anything. I closed the book, thought the hell with that, I am the mother I am, and went and bought $300 worth of chicken nuggets. OK, an exageration. […]

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Those are some of the subjects I discussed with Sam today. Yes, I explained war to my almost five-year-old as he sat in the “way back” of the minivan.(I’m not sure whether to thank NPR or the president, but I really can’t listen to Dan Zanes all the time.) I got to bellow it, because it’s a little hard to hear back there, and he kept asking me to repeat myself. Apparently I wasn’t making any sense, and it took […]

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I wrote a book about reading to babies–and it’s been months since Lily has really let me read to her. She brings books, yes–but after a page she’s off for another book. She’d rather “read” to herself–and she does, she sits and talks and turns the pages–but like everything else, she just doesn’t want anyone to do it for her. But tonight, ar long last, she let me read. I happened to grab a handful of board books she hadn’t […]

It’s a Girl edited by Andi Buchanan. I’ve just read most of the essays in this book, and I’ve loved them. Why “most”? Because I couldn’t read the last few–the ones about letting go. My oldest child isn’t quite five, and even thought there are plenty of moments when letting him go–ANYWHERE–sounds pretty good, the truth is that I can’t even think about them grown up and even a little bit gone. I’ll trust I’ll handle that somehow when it […]

Fairy tales just aren’t PC, friends. They’re violent. Kings kill princes, fathers fling their daughters out in the snow, the wolf chows down on Grandma. They’re horribly insensitive to gener issues. Girls want to marry the prince, and even if they manage to do something clever or save themselves, marriage is their portion. Fathers promise their daughter’s hands without consulting her, beauty and charm are all important, etc. They’re heavily dependant on social class. Servants live belowstairs, masters above. Paupers […]

Yesterday we ate lunch in the grocery store cafe. My planned lunch: an avocado roll and some sliced pineapple. The lunch I ended up eating: 1/2 box of chocolate-flavored graham crackers shaped like bunnies in the car on the way home. Wyatt had to be nursed, Lily had to sit in my lap and unroll the avocado from the rice and squish it and I had to be constantly vigilant so that my over-stimulated spawn didn’t run the other eaters […]

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So, although I’m taking the blog in a new direction (with a new look!) any day now, I will take this opportunity to tell you, as demanded, 6 Weird/Freaky/Embarrassing Things About Me. And then I will tag 6 people. And then they will come back and tell me that they’ve written 6 Weird Things about themselves, and I will go and read them, and snort. But this is my new improved blog about feeding the Devils’ minds and bodies! So, […]

This has definitely become something of a navel-gazing blog, and the more navel gazing I do, the more I start to notice that much of my navel probably ought to be kept private. I didn’t set out to do quite this. My plan was to post more finished, funny, essay-like entries, but I can tell you right now that those take time–and, of course, that’s not time that comes from my kids, laundry or sleeping efforts. It comes straight off […]

Lily had another tough day, partly because she skipped her nap, the evil little being. On the plus side, it was my first day without narcotics. They wouldn’t refill my prescription, curse them! No way ordinary tylenol would work! Well, actually, it did–and I’m less groggy, too. So maybe they know something. Other thoughts: The people in charge of c-section scar placement have not kept up with the new lower waistbands. And it’s not the scar I’m worried about–it’s the […]

All right, I might, repeat might be in labor. Don’t t all excited now, and (mom) don’t call me. These things happen, or, sometimes, they don’t. If we have a baby later I’ll let you know. When we have a baby, I guess I should say, but I DON’T KNOW IF I believe that anymore. Anyway, so the contractions are regularish, bearably painful, not really even close to go to the hospital level…and I’m bored. I do not think I […]

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