KJ

In which I clear up the Mork from Ork reference

By KJ / Thursday, November 10, 2005

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Maternity Jeans

By KJ / Tuesday, November 8, 2005

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Nano, Nano November

By KJ / Friday, November 4, 2005

My plans for November: Thanksgiving, of course. One big party, many many guests, with enough food to constitute dinner–that’s the weekend before Thanksgiving. One short trip to Bermuda. (Lucky one night boondoggle.) Clean entire house preparatory to huge party, as in–that cabinet has got to go! I ordered new shelves and gee, if I’m going to clear the kitchen counters I might as well organize the spice cabinet, and once I do that I have to move some stuff to […]

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By KJ / Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Watching the build-up the Rose Bowl made me remember one of my favorite techniques for handling the many, and nearly always male, detectives and cops I worked with in the NYC District Attorney’s office. My boyfriend/husband was an ESPN addict, and although I had no trouble tuning out SPorts Night, some of it invariably sunk in–and it went farther to create a rapport than anything I could have done short of growing a penis and turning Irish. If I were […]

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It Only Seems Like Forever

By KJ / Tuesday, January 3, 2006

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13 Things Hanging Off My Refrigerator

By KJ / Thursday, January 5, 2006

1…. An Emergency contact list for the babysitter. If you look behind it (please don’t) you’ll find information about what to do in the event of both my and my husband’s horrible demises (demeese?) because once we took a plane trip without the kids, and, well, that’s just the way I am. 2. An Olivia the Pig magnet. 3. Anti-W New Yorker cartoon mocking the heartland. (I was born in the heartland, I can mock it.) 4. A toy that, […]

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By KJ / Monday, February 13, 2006

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Again! again!

By KJ / Sunday, February 12, 2006

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A Very Small Silver Lining

By KJ / Friday, February 10, 2006

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24-7 Kids Kids Kids

By KJ / Saturday, February 4, 2006

I sometimes think that we are the only family that spends all of our time either actively entertaining our kids grunting and getting up unwillingly to help with something or get something while trying to do something that appeals to you (like, say, reading the newspaper) trying to persuade your spouse to do all the entertaining so you can hear yourself think taking kids somewhere kid-appropriate, or at least somewhere to kill time. Sam and Lily are 4 1/2 and […]

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The End of Anonymity is Nigh

By KJ / Friday, February 3, 2006

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Hey,

By KJ / Monday, January 30, 2006

I was at a party over the weekend, an actual, honest to god, here’s a loud band and some food and some drink party (dancing to 60’s and 70’s standards under the stuffed heads of decapitated animals, an unexpected party from the pov of me in my twenties but a fun one just the same). The band took a break, and my friend L sidled up to me and hissed “hey, let’s slip outside for a cigarette.” For jsut a […]

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The End! The Beginning! The End!

By KJ / Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Check out this link for Amazon and this one for B & N to see a preview of Reading to Babies, Toddlers and Twos. I feel great and Susan does too–now on to promoting it, selling it and enjoying it! Guess I’ll need to put up an official link here, too. We’re even planning a blog book tour–I’ll be emailing people to see if they want to participate in a week or two. Plus: One first draft novel, finished, less […]

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The End! The Beginning! The End!

By KJ / Tuesday, January 24, 2006

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Just in Case You Visit Me

By KJ / Monday, January 16, 2006

Here is a brief list of things that actually would be helpful: Buckling any child into his or her car seat at any time. Any form of playroom cleaning, dishwasher loading or table wiping that is done without making a big deal out of what you’re doing, so that I feel bad for not doing it myself. Putting any child into a coat or shoes that is appropriate for the weather when we are about to go out. Reading to […]

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These Things Do Not Happen to Good Housekeepers

By KJ / Friday, January 13, 2006

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All Manuscripts MUST…

By KJ / Tuesday, January 10, 2006

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Unquestionably the Lamest Last-Minute Show and Tell Ever

By KJ / Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Picture026.jpg, originally uploaded by kjda. Sam, stricken, as we walk into school today: It’s Show and Tell Day! Me: Oh. Sam: And we can’t pick something from the classroom anymore! I need something! It is clear there is no point in suggesting that he just not give a show and tell today, not if I want to get out of there without tears. I suggest that I’ll go to the car and look for something. The car is not the […]

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Stop Kicking Me! I’m Down!

By KJ / Monday, January 9, 2006

#3 has been resolutely kicking and pushing at one particular spot on my left side for weeks now. Today he (accepting ultrasound version of sex even though I’m not invested in it, for convenience sake) outdid himself. By 2:00 I was nearly in tears. Tylenol is no help, and if you thik about it, would it be? If you had a big giant bruise and I kept poking it, would you take a little mild painkiller, or would you punch […]

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Lily’s First (Real) Halloween

By KJ / Monday, October 31, 2005

Picture058.jpg, originally uploaded by kjda. That’s Sam in the background, with “Boo” on his ghost costume. We made a ghost for Lily too, but she didn’t like it. So I produced Sam’s old dog costume and said, cautiously “Lily be doggie?” “No Mommy.” “Cute doggie, Lily. Look at his ears! Look at his tongue!” There was a moment of consideration, then she sat down in my lap and stuck her legs out for the fitting. As I remember it, with […]

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October in New Hampshire

By KJ / Tuesday, October 25, 2005

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You Say It’s Your Birthday…

By KJ / Saturday, July 23, 2005

I am not feeling particularly chipper on this, the anniversary of my birth. We had a good day. Rob took the kids grocery shopping this morning, giving me a bit of time, and then we met a few friends at a BBQ festival, where we got to eat a lot of charred, sauce covered pork, which is one of my very favorite things. It would have made a fine Saturday, but for some reason, it was a bit of a […]

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sam did

By KJ / Thursday, July 14, 2005

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Mice Are SO Not My Department

By KJ / Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Sam and I were cleaning out the car today, while Lily climbed around among all the debris we’d removed from our own little Tobacco Road. I was clearing receipts, wrappers and toy bits from the front console and Sam was vacuuming Lily’s car seat when, over the roar of the wet/dry vac, I hear “Something’s really scaring me, Mommy!” There’s an undertone of panic, and I move fast. On the ground, in front of the vacuum I see a small, […]

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Sam at the pond

By KJ / Monday, July 11, 2005

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By KJ / Saturday, July 9, 2005

9:30 a.m. Amount of patience remaining: 0 Number of times children woke in the night and required tending by an adult: 3 Number of times yelled at Sam in last 3 hours: unk. Number of adults currently watching children:0 Most irritating conversation held with Sam, while still in possession of patience: “Mommy, look what I can do!” (moving shoes from one shelf to another. “mmm hmm.” “Do you want me to move these?” “No, thank you.” “But do you want […]

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The Flaming, Defiant Role Model

By KJ / Friday, July 8, 2005

I was listening to some of my backlogged This American Life in the car, driving down to Boston and back to get Trixie (because I am an NPR geek, and my ipod contains TAL episodes, one audio book by Anne Lamott and two by Sarah Vowell, plus miscellaneous music which I almost never listen to). The particular episode that caught my attention featured Seattle writer and syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage talking about a kid he’s particularly admired in high […]

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The Full-serve Dilemna

By KJ / Sunday, July 3, 2005

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Three Shots (and

By KJ / Thursday, June 30, 2005

It was Sam’s annual check-up today, an event he’s been preparing for by reading Blue’s Check-up and conducting mock doctor’s appointments for months. He enjoyed himself vastly as they checked his vision and his hearing , weighed him, measured him and produced, as promised, an otoscope and a stethoscope. He was most pleased, and reasonably charming. Until the medical student and doctor exited, and the nurses arrived. They tried to be nice. One, a gregarious, gigantic guy named Kevin, was […]

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Happy Sprinkle Day to Sam

By KJ / Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Sam’s birthday, his “actual birthday with all the stuff”. His party was a minor comedy of errors: it was supposed to be a construction party, to honor all the work we’re doing on the patio with an outdoor dirt pile and a special sand pile. It rained. Oh, how it rained. But I refused to jettison, because the hourly forecast suggestede that it would STOP raining. I hid all the treats outside, and then the rain came down. The rice […]

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Imaginary Money

By KJ / Thursday, June 23, 2005

I love spending imaginary money. Usually I do it in catalogs, but today I took the imaginary money total to new and greater heights than it’s ever been before. It started out with a simple patio. I’ve been wanting a patio since we moved here, and a few weeks ago I decided to actually take a few steps in that direction. So I called Brian, who did a little tractor work for us last spring. Brian was the dream tractor […]

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And More Happy Birthday to Lily

By KJ / Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Tonight was Lily’s actual birthday celebration. 12 adults and 12 kids ranging in age from 7 mos-4 years descended upon us, bearing gifts. We fed them cake, pizza, strawberries and grapes, not actually in that order. Oh, and also, cheese puffs. Kendall said “oh, hell, forget organic, have a cheese puff,” and I looked at her in horror. “They are organic!”. These are our closest friends. At the moment, in order to be admitted into our inner circle, you must […]

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10 Reasons Not to Have #3

By KJ / Friday, June 10, 2005

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Happy Birthday to Lily

By KJ / Friday, June 10, 2005

Lily’s one today, glorious one. She walked her first step on Memorial day, four steps two days later–and hasn’t repeated it since. She’s the Queen Mum of waving, standing at the train table, greeting me with a frantic wave when I come to release her from her car seat. She likes putting things in things, then taking them out, then putting them back in again (I could go on…). She likes bags to carry and hats to put on her […]

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You Gotta Have Teeth

By KJ / Tuesday, August 2, 2005

One of my favorite mental mulling topics: things that everyone has to do, no matter how rich they are. I kept thinking, well, get up with a baby, but I suppose that’s not really true–you can hire someone to do that for you, even though I honestly (full frontal judgement here) don’t think that you should. But I digress. (Someone has to have a blog with that name, don’t they?) Today’s everybody has to do it: the dentist. No matter […]

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Choo choo!

By KJ / Sunday, August 14, 2005

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On Toys and Plane Travel, Among Other Things

By KJ / Friday, August 19, 2005

Sam was helpless in the face of the dogs. They’d knock him over, take his food, and kick sand in his face for good measure. Lily is already trying to whack them in the nose if they come anywhere near her when she’s eating something–or, like tonight, biting pieces off of a cucumber and then spitting them out. I never said she wasn’t weird, just that she’s assertive. Sam built some sort of bridge out of plastic wine glasses tonight, […]

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Tact for the Pregnant

By KJ / Monday, October 24, 2005

Tonight at book club I sat next to a girl, somewhat younger than me, about four weeks away from having her second baby and more than ready. We were talking about how weird those last few days were, when you know it’s going to happen, but you don’t know when. “I really realized it when I bought milk with an expiration date that was past my due date,” she said. “I felt like it was sort of a cross between […]

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A False Alarm for Freak-Out Girl

By KJ / Saturday, October 22, 2005

Last night, in the middle of innocent teeth-brushing, I was suddenly and unexpectedly just knocked over with pain in my middle. Anyone who’s had both knows that really bad stomach cramps and really bad labor cramps feel, well, much the same, and since it’s a mistake I’ve made before I really panicked, but I couldn’t do anything about it, except sit there and panic. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t yell for help–but what would have done, anyway? […]

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I Do Not Want to Talk on the Phone

By KJ / Friday, October 21, 2005

I am a bad person with a massive guilt complex, but I rarely return phone calls. I do not like them. They require too much real-time presence, and the only time I have any real-time presence to give is, generally, at night after bed time, a time I devote to a) recovering and b) novel writing. I am so protective of my time. I feel like it’s a slippery eel, always swimming away from me as I grab after it […]

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In which I give the dead past a little tickle

By KJ / Wednesday, October 12, 2005

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I Am a Genuine, Honest-to-Gosh Writer

By KJ / Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I have finally grown comfortable enough with the possibility of rejection and with the growing body of words from my tap-tapping little fingers to confide that i am writing a novel. In fact, recent word count has me at 41,481 words. Many of them are deeply crappy words, certainly, but still words. Absolutely words, all mine. I suppose I’m partly ok with sharing this because a) I am not going to tell you what it is about, I don’t do […]

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The Writing Front

By KJ / Wednesday, October 5, 2005

A couple of months ago I sent out an essay–actually at an editor’s request, a first for me. I proposed an article on how former professionals, now stay-at-home moms, rarely just stay home–they usually do something to stay sane, too. She thought it sounded more like an essay than an article. Writing essays to order is always tough, and this one fought hard. I finally sent it out just because I coudn’t get it any farther and it seemed pretty […]

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Big News and Excuses (and Too Much Information for Dad)

By KJ / Tuesday, October 4, 2005

We’ll be adding a third devil to the pack in March. I couldn’t blog about it until I told my mom, now, could I? And I couldn’t tell my mom without some good concrete info about a due date, and I couldn’t get good concrete info about a due date without an ultrasound, and I couldn’t get an ultrasound until they managed to squeeze me into their insanely busy schedule. Why no pre-existing info about a due date? Because my […]

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Why I Hope No One Gives Me Any Wishes

By KJ / Thursday, September 8, 2005

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I Have to GOOOOO!

By KJ / Tuesday, September 6, 2005

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Words, Many Words and More from Lily

By KJ / Thursday, September 1, 2005

Today Lily took a tube of toothpaste and pretended to squeeze it out onto her arm and rub it in. So I guess I’ve been putting enough sunscreen on her. She’s repeating words, and using lots on her own, like shoe and backpack (which started with Dora but also applies to backpacks in the real world, and which is doubly funny because one of Sam’s words at this stage was “Clue!”). She understands so much–bring me the bowl, bring me […]

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The Things We Do for Love

By KJ / Thursday, August 25, 2005

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Lily is not sure this is a good idea.

By KJ / Wednesday, August 24, 2005

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Sam feeds the goats.

By KJ / Wednesday, August 24, 2005

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