Connecting the Dots

What does it say about me that up until now, for every trip, I have made myself insane completing every last detail of every bit of the packing? As in, I charge their Nintendos. I pack their carry-ons. I make sure each kid has just the right workbook or crayons, or every member of the mini SuperWhy team. I put carefully distributed snacks in them. I pack their clothes, matched, clean, suitable. Etc. I micro-manage the whole process, and it […]

Farewell, Great Wolf Lodge Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone — KJ Dell’Antonia www.kjdellantonia.com

Pure joy. Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia

We are (as you can see below) at a big, giant indoor water park/hotel. It’s “AWESOME,” and “the best valentine’s day ever” and “so COOL.” All of those things are true (it’s also, we’re just now noticing, right under the airport flight path, but that’s not going to bother me any. I’m a good sleeper, I am! It’s not crowded (while we in the East take two winter breaks to save on heating costs, in the South and West, they […]

Hello from Great Wolf Lodge Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Lily’s valentine’s are so weirdly charming that I wish I’d taken a picture of each individual one. There’s a pillow she sewed. A spider made from an egg carton and a pipe cleaner ring. A gnome we made at Christmas. A small batch of fake flowers wrapped in felt. I guess when there are only eight kids in your class, you can go all out, and throw in a piece of our soon-to-be-famous fudge, too. I have no idea what […]

If you haven’t made Valentines yet, or have rashly promised treats for a classroom party, might I recommend these? It’s a Family Fun recipe and couldn’t possibly be easier. Sam and Wyatt made their own, with just a little help from me spreading it in the pan and cutting it. The results caused the kids to jump around the room shrieking “It’s so good! It’s so good!” and then “I love you! I love you!” So I guess, from a […]

A little office cleaning, as I’ve said before, is clearly in order: It is more than a little hard to type on this laptop. New plan: Step one: clear everything off the desk! Step two: Enjoy new work surface. Step three: Don’t turn around. New Office Cleaning Technique

Thanks to everyone with thoughts on Sam’s homework situation last week. I did not make him quit an activity. One things has two practices, and the idea is that he cannot go to the second practice unless any longer term homework projects–as in, the ones that are assigned Monday and due Friday–are complete. Meanwhile, another literature assignment came home Friday, due Weds. And on Saturday I said, are you going to do it? And he said, I’ll do the reading. […]

How much is too much homework in fourth grade? I don’t know. Maybe any homework is too much. But it does seem to me that school is the place to work in groups and receive instruction, but reading and actual writing and math drilling, and studying to take in the things you learned–those are things you really have to do at home. I’ve come around to homework. It’s fine. What’s not fine is how long it takes Sam to DO […]

Proof positive that I am still WAY to attached to my way of doing things: both Lily and Rory like to keep their coats in in the house and in restaurants (but not, of course, at the grocery store). And it bugs me. It is not really a big deal. It is not really ANY deal. Generally, they hang them up when they do take them off, or when asked. Yes, they get food on them, but since they also […]

I seem to remember someone in some book or another making fun of the way, in musicals, suddenly everyone bursts out singing. This is not, of course, the way of the real world, particularly if you live, as I do, in a pretty deep swamp of cynicism accompanied by a healthy dose of irony. I mean, I might burst out singing, but it would be meta-singing, in which I totally understood how goofy it was to burst out singing. My […]

I’m new to the Sunday snapshot game. photo.JPG Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone But I thought anyone who’s been following along might wonder what ever happened to our BIG gingerbread mansion. After weeks and weeks of “we we gon’ eat that? When? I wan’ eat that candy but I CAN’T!” eventually, they could. I wouldn’t have, but they did. Although not, I think, nearly as much as they thought they would.

We had school conferences tonight. Or rather, Rob had school conferences, since he unilaterally changed Rory and Wy’s conferences to a time I couldn’t make, and then, because they filled, couldn’t change them back–but then, he couldn’t make the time I’d chosen, so who am I to talk? In any case, Rob, armed with my questions, went. My questions boiled down to: “is Wyatt interested enough?” And “is Rory managing to learn anything?” My perception being that Wyatt, who does […]

It was Sam, my big guy’s, turn to have a rough day. It was a teacher in-service day for Sam and Lily, and Lily fulfilled a long-overdue wish to go to school with Rory and Wyatt. I don’t think she had as much fun as she expected to, but that’s another story. Sam and I planned to go ski Killington with friends. The weather was less than super, but a morning skiing was doable (half-price day for locals, too!). But […]

When we set out to adopt, we initially thought of a baby. Not an infant–our thought was that there were many, many parents out there who wanted, even needed a baby. A baby, we figured, didn’t need us. Plus, we’d had babies: three of them. We didn’t need the neediness, the sleepless nights, the crying, the helplessness. Didn’t want it. Anyone who’s already been through this is already laughing We thought we would adopt an older baby , a toddler […]

This is Rory’s favorite phrase. Rory, come play with me? Not quite yet! Rory, empty your lunchbox. Not quite yet! Rory, time to go. Not quite yet! Even for good things, it’s not quite yet, not quite yet. I finally tracked down the origin yesterday morning when she asked my husband if she could feed the dogs, and he said: Not quite yet. Not surprisingly, this turned out to mean when I’m ready and possibly never, which is certainly how […]

Somehow, through a series of events that’s a little hard to explain, I ended up running the administrative part of one of our local ski programs. Well, co- running it. On the one hand, certainly I am better off running it than I am at teaching kids to ski–I don’t mind coaching them at Nordic skiing, but I refuse to ride a ski lift with any child I’m not related to–but primarily, I’m deeply aware of what a huge mistake […]

I’m a newly converted disciple of one Vicki Hoefle, parenting guru, who created the Parenting on Track program. My neighbor (flockmother) loaned it to me, and I quickly sprang for our own copies–which I am already loaning out. It’s a program that’s more about what YOU do than what your kids do–no starcharts or reward boxes, both of which have failed us–and one of the basic tenets is the idea of what Vicki calls “privileges and responsibilities.” Carrots and sticks […]

Just in case you don’t remember what my office looks like, let me post a small refresher photo: It’s probably worse now. I’ve added a small collection of office-related Christmas gifts, a couple of children’s book publishers catalogs, Rosetta Stone: French and a jar of peanut butter. And an unused pull-up—pretty sure that wasn’t here before—and assorted additional bits of paper. I have lots of assorted bits of paper. And an empty cookie box and a box of gallon-sized zip […]

Monday am, and I’ve dropped the bigs off at their school and am delivering the littles to theirs. I’ve forgotten the half boosters, so I’m hauling the full doozies out to leave in the entry for their babysitter, who also teaches at the school. There’s a niggling voice in the back of my head. It’s been there for a couple of days, actually. I pin it down. “Why,” it’s asking, “would said babysitter send me a note that says ‘see […]

Game-Changing Originally uploaded by kjda Hit the popular local diner this am. There were actually tables, but the kids wanted to sit at the counter. (the line formed quickly after we sat down–we were up early.) Me, all four. Counter. This is something that would not have been possible few months ago. And it went fine.

Thank You Santa Originally uploaded by kjda All their own idea. Once in a while (if Sam is around) they’re just sweet. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

Showed up at pick up today–on time, swear– to find Lily in tears and Sam worrying. “I SAID you told us not to ride the bus,” he declared, but they wanted us to ride it anyway! I TOLD them you always forget to call…” Whoops. In my defense, my day was so packed and one thing after another that I didn’t even drink COFFEE until after noon and I never did get that shower. Working up to that now. But […]

Lily and I Get Crafty Originally uploaded by kjda In a continuation of the preceding post, this is also the kind of thing that is now possible, on this side of the mountain of the past, oh, nine years. I like this kind of project. Quick and chick. Start, over done, contemplate achievement. I like Gingerbread houses. I like frosted cookies. I like Halloween costumes and cardboard box houses. I will never, ever sew you a dress–too precise. Too time […]

I have a guest post on Motherlode this weekend. I love the essay before mine, too. What she said.

Ski Day Originally uploaded by kjda Enough cannot be said about how out of the woods we are with adoption and toddler-hood, etc. Wyatt is the youngest, at four, and he can: put his own ski gear on, get up when he falls, ride the jbar, get on a slowed down chair lift, and carry his boots and skis, thanks to the magnificent thing that is the boot/helmet backpack. Now, if you don’t ski, this all sounds just crazy. But […]

A friend, neighbor and fellow blogger is a big devotee of Parenting On Track, and last week I persuaded her to loan me her cds for in-car listening. She has three kind, thoughtful and independent girls (at least they look that way to me) and I know she’s followed the program to the letter. I’ve known other people who’ve gone to seminars and raved about them, and I’ve felt in need of some guidance lately. I lose my temper too […]

Happy Hanukah! Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

Finally the Aquatic Center Is Fun Originally uploaded by kjda Because I dont have to go in! KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone —

I have the New Year’s organizing bug, early. I can’t tell if I just want to get things in order (yes) or if I’m procrastinating a work assignment I’m having trouble with (yes). I guess it’s both. The basement is borderline organized, all kinds of things are planned out (including some holiday surprises that can’t be revealed here). My computer files are sorted. Backups are being arranged. It’s like it’s New Year’s Resolution season. I just want to GET STUFF […]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the comments a lot. I was hoping for help! We do, we just have a bunch of things that don’t add up. Auditory processing sounds very worth researching. She literally does not process much of our speech beyond the first words or commands. Does the expected thing in any situation (brushes her teeth and puts on pjs when told, near bedtime, to go up and get a towel and her pajamas and come back down for […]

Still a work in Progress Originally uploaded by kjda But looking pretty impressive, and with a characteristic touch from everyone. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Dressing the Part Originally uploaded by kjda Some of us like to dress for the season while we decorate our snowy gingerbread house. Then we go sled on the faintly frozen grass. Like it’s not going to be cold enough soon already! KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Intently working Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

Coming soon: one gingerbread house Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

I have to admit I am a little worried about Rory’s language. She isn’t exactly a non-native English speaker. Her foster parents spoke English, and so did she, although it was about on the level of a two year old (we adopted her at almost four). But the nannies and other staff spoke Chinese or dialects, and I imagine the children did a lot of physical communication, since they would have had varying speech abilities. Rory is still behind, and […]

Lily’s bread and Lily’s luck Originally uploaded by kjda Last night Lily made the rolls for today’s dinner. I helped; in fact, I made her follow a recipe and was so anal about the whole thing that when it didn’t raise as much as I expected we made another batch. In between Lily asked to play with the flour and water and such, and made something she said was bread dough. We had yeast left over from the rolls, so […]

I am frittering. Oh, and doing laundry, sure, but frittering just the same. I fritter away a mean day, I do. I have Actually done the tutorial for a new piece of software I’m trying out (Scrivener). Found a rawhide for the dog. Done the email thing. More email. Did I mention laundry? I don’t know. I’ve been “working” for five hours, though. 5 hours and 25 minutes, actually. That’s embarrassing. I mean, even with the laundry. Seriously? Frittered away […]

Proof Positive We Live in Paradise Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone — KJ Dell’Antonia www.kjdellantonia.com 917-647-6600 Contributing Editor, Kiwi Magazine Read me on Slate’s XXFactor blog www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/xxfactor Twitter.com/kjda

We adopted out of birth order. This is a sin against the standard advice regarding adoption, I know, and one we committed utterly blithely. But he’s a baby, we said of the baby. He’ll always be the baby, and so birth order will be preserved! Of course, our youngest was three—no baby—when we adopted his also 3-year-old sister, 6 months older than he. When she turned four he felt betrayed. Not good. But that passed. He’s the baby now, demands […]