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Raising Devils

Sam’s School Birthday

By KJ / Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Sam’s School Birthday Originally uploaded by kjda Honestly, I thought I had missed this–somehow I thought we were supposed to do the school celebration LAST Wednesday. I was very relieved. So, here they are, one festival of very happy gluten-free-nut-free-egg- free treats. (Rice Krispie Treats are good that way.) KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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I don’t want you to work. I want you to just be home.

By KJ / Monday, June 14, 2010

Think these words made me sad? Think again. I do work, and I work hard, and I have been struggling, of late, to get everything done and done well. But my writing work is important, and so, on a different level is the fact that I work at all. I want the kids to get that Rob and I both work, that we both worked hard to get to jobs that we enjoy and that help us all to lead […]

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See Below.

By KJ / Sunday, June 13, 2010

See Below. Originally uploaded by kjda Can’t last, tho. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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How You Want Your Kids to Behave in Publiv

By KJ / Sunday, June 13, 2010

How You Want Your Kids to Behave in Publiv Originally uploaded by kjda I have concluded that, if you just keep taking them and taking them and taking them, eventually–maybe one in four times–you get a decent result. I guess the hope is that eventually the ratio improves. Of course, this is the third lacrosse game in three days, and I am sitting here typing, so I am probably not behaving that well myself. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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My Lame Last Day Picnic

By KJ / Friday, June 11, 2010

My Lame Last Day Picnic Originally uploaded by kjda For the more elegant version, see below. I am having a bit of a crisis of confidence today, on many levels. On the one hand, you know how when you were a teenager, you dreamed that you would go away somewhere and come back changed? I feel like I did. We have been back for 14 days now, and I still haven’t lost my temper– which is what I mean by […]

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Somebody Else’s Elegant Last Day Picnic

By KJ / Friday, June 11, 2010

Somebody Else’s Elegant Last Day Picnic Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Lily’s Birthday Down, Sam’s To Go.

By KJ / Thursday, June 10, 2010

Safari Adventure. No, wait, RAINforest safari adventure. Treasure Hunt. Safari Duck Capture. Dangling Wildberries from the wild berry bush. Monkey cake, safari hats ($1 each, totally awesome birthday craft, thanks Oriental Trading Company), one spinning birthday flower sparkler candle straight from China…an ungodly number of happy kids. 10 guests, one birthday girl, many very welcome siblings and a very good chaos. Really, it went fab. And I don’t even have to do it again until….a week from Saturday.

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Guess What Day It Is?

By KJ / Thursday, June 10, 2010

Guess What Day It Is? Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Yellers Anonymous

By KJ / Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Hi, My name is KJ, and I’m addicted to yelling. It’s been 10 days since I last yelled at any of my children. I should probably remind you that I spent 8 of those 10 days traveling with only Rob and Sam, which scarcely occasioned any yelling. In fact that’s really what prompted this. I went 8 days without yelling. 8 days. And while obviously traveling through Stockholm and Amsterdam was very very good, living without yelling was also very […]

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Gruna Lunda

By KJ / Thursday, May 27, 2010

Gruna Lunda Originally uploaded by kjda Note that it’s 9 pm and still this light! KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Vasa museum

By KJ / Thursday, May 27, 2010

Vasa museum Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Kitty Face

By KJ / Saturday, May 22, 2010

Kitty Face Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Control, that thing we all want

By KJ / Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Here is a partial list of things I am letting go of: Keeping Rory awake in the car. Any opinion about what clothes are worn outside the house. The sporting of snow boots in all seasons. The amount of cereal poured into a bowl. The amount of milk poured onto the cereal. The size, shape and intended function of the spoon with which the cereal is eaten. The consumption of fruit at breakfast. The requirement that a san dwich form […]

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The One Thing Rory’s Siblings Have that She Doesn’t, Still

By KJ / Monday, May 17, 2010

Friends. That’s not entirely accurate–Rory has friends at school, and she has plenty of kids her age who come over often and romp through our house for various family events and family playdates–but she has no friends of her very own, who would invite her and only her over for a playdate or…the ultimate…a birthday party. Sam goes to birthday parties (he’s 8). Lily goes to birthday parties (she’s 5). Wyatt goes to birthday parties, and this is the unkindest […]

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A New Friend (and first official iPad Post)

By KJ / Tuesday, May 11, 2010

We had one of those classic adoption encounters this weekend, really of the kind you only dream about. Ran into our old neighbor from across the street, who we consider a friend, at the grocery store. I’ve seen her probably a dozen times over the last year, but the only lengthy conversation we’ve had was about evil sports parents. Still, I think of her as someone I see fairly often. She greeted us, chatted–I see you’re one short today–yep, Wyatt […]

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Lily Rocks the Hula Hoop (and more)

By KJ / Sunday, May 9, 2010

Lily Rocks the Hula Hoop (and more) Originally uploaded by kjda > > Lily had a friend’s festive birthday party, obviously, which she attended with enthusiasm today. It was all of 40 degrees here, but still an improvement over yesterday’s rain, which just went on and on. I am a little grumpy…we had our big annual party sort of thing here Friday night, a museum auction, and I had such a good time that it’s a little bit of a […]

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Lap Child

By KJ / Monday, May 3, 2010

We are at soccer, where there is so much fun going you wouldn’t believe it. Lily is playing, the sun is shining, and here on the grassy sidelines the smaller kids are kicking balls and running and jumping ane leaping… But not Rory. Rory got a bump and scored a lap hug, and there is no way she is getting up. Possibly ever. She is bothered…Wyatt’s friend has her ball….but oh, no, she isn’t going anywhere. I am torn about […]

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Not the Bike Ride They Thought Mom was Taking Them On

By KJ / Sunday, May 2, 2010

Not the Bike Ride They Thought Mom was Taking Them On Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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I Don’t Want to Be Anybody I Am Today

By KJ / Saturday, May 1, 2010

I was reading a little snippet of Ayelet Waldman’d Bad Mother today. She was talking about her mother-in-law, and how wonderful she was once Waldman realized it. She described her as serene, and talked about how nice it must be to grow up in a house with a serene mother, adding that she’d grown up with temperamental, explosive mother and that she was that kind of mother herself, and so she knew all too well its disadvantages, and I thought, […]

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A Gnome!

By KJ / Friday, April 30, 2010

A Gnome! Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Go to Your Room. And Then Come Out.

By KJ / Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The go-to punishment in our house is a common one: go to your room. Now, I know that that’s a hot-button for Rory–go away from me, because you’re bad–and although she gets the sending, she rarely gets the leaving (other attempts, like a time-out chair and such, failed). She gets an immediate parental visit, a hug, a reminder of why she’s there, and nearly always, instant release–which she then inevitably refuses to take. I’ve talked about this before–how hard it […]

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Perfectly Happy

By KJ / Monday, April 26, 2010

Perfectly Happy Originally uploaded by kjda At least until the ride home! That’s Lily playing soccer, very happily, in the rain. Today was a big deal for her–although she’s played hockey for two years, it’s always been overshadowed by Sam’s play. He doesn’t do soccer, and today, the whole family had to load up and go–for her sake, not his. We have attended so many games and practices and pick ups–it’s always come on! we have to take Sam! We […]

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Putting in the peas

By KJ / Sunday, April 25, 2010

Putting in the peas Originally uploaded by kjda We’re probably a little late, but we planted peas and facade beans today. Like our fancy teepees? Also on today’s agenda–cheeseburgers, on the charcoal grill (actually, the charcoal smoker, which I also use as a grill, and in part because it’s supposed to rain this week–good for seeds, bad for grilling). Everyone wanted, for some reason, to put on their own cheese. I’m thinking they may have done this at a friends’ […]

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Explaining “I Did Not Love My Adopted Child” to My Very Real, Very Loved Daughter

By KJ / Saturday, April 24, 2010

In the the wake of the Torry Hanson case, I wrote a piece for Slate Magazine (where I’m a regular contributor to the DoubleX section) that my editors there titled “I Did Not Love My Adopted Child,” or, if you came to it from the first page, “I Didn’t Love My Foreign Adopted Kid at First, Either.” I liked the second title better–and actually proposed changing the first; I wanted to call it “Adoption Sucks–But that’s No Reason Not to Do It.” […]

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Modern Fun

By KJ / Saturday, April 24, 2010

Modern Fun Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Our lives if we still lived in NYC

By KJ / Saturday, April 24, 2010

Our lives if we still lived in NYC Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Rainy snowy happy Saturday

By KJ / Saturday, April 17, 2010

I just want to say that I truly believe this was the first rainy saturday I have spent wholly at home with no real plans and no big activities since Sam was born, so almost nine years ago,that I haven’t wanted to rip my one arm off and beat myself to death with it by dinnertime. Around here that counts as a good day. I am not ignoring the question of whether I got flak for the slate article–I just […]

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Sprouts! And I really think we’ll be just fine.

By KJ / Thursday, April 15, 2010

Sprouts! Originally uploaded by kjda Now that I’m done being the flavor of the week, the most interesting news around here is that the Brussels Sprouts and Broccoli have sprouted! (They’re from the same plant family, so it’s nut too surprising they’d be first together.)This is our first year growing the garden from seed (you can expect to read about it in Kiwi next spring) and we have four little grow shelves of seeds. We planted over the weekend, and […]

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Talk of the Nation

By KJ / Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I am sorry, I cannot bear to post the link to CNN. But it’s on DoubleX if you feel you must. What’s really exciting is that tomorrow I get to be a guest on Talk of the Nation on NPR. It’s one of my fave shows, and I know they just want to let me be a starting point for talking about adoption experiences. I will be on at 3:40.

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In Which I have a Very Weird Day

By KJ / Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Since no one can talk to Torry Hansen, currently in the running for worst parent ever, and I’m the author of I Did Not Love My Adopted Child  (please note that a) I did not write the title and b) past tense! Past tense! I wanted to call it Adoption sucks. But that’s no reason not to do it.), a bunch of people wanted to talk to me, which is how I ended up on CNN tonight. Mostly it was in […]

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Party!

By KJ / Saturday, April 10, 2010

Party! Originally uploaded by kjda Look at the bar my hostess set up…I love parties. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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No Time No Patience

By KJ / Thursday, April 8, 2010

Today was an easy day with nicely set apart activities, little rushing–it should have been so easy. But I decided I needed to do something on the computer during the hour in between one thing and another (order a new bike helmet) and then it took longer than I expected, and then, oh, then, Wyatt took my whatever! Rory wont let me have my turn! Lily not hellpin’ me! In other words, from all three, loud and clear: pay attention […]

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Duke, and Why Am I Still Up?

By KJ / Monday, April 5, 2010

Rob is a big Duke fan, and I really wanted to keep him company for the game. I spend too many nights off on my computer or grousing about making lunches, and it’s easy to get disconnected. And I have personally been struggling with deadlines and time crunches and a feeling like I will never get to where I want to be, and it’s made me unnecessarily grumpy– which is insane, given that we basically live a life of no […]

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KJ on Kids and Branding on Slate

By KJ / Monday, April 5, 2010

I’ve got a piece on Slate this week on kids and brands (one of my favorite fellow writers asked me what I was branding them with–a Bar Double X, perhaps?) I’d love it if you’d come, read and argue away.

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Easter Bunny Questions

By KJ / Saturday, April 3, 2010

It’s such a beautiful weekend…the Easter Bunny would like to hide the baskets and eggs outside! (The Easter Bunny is mischievous in our house, a tradition that dates back to the time my mother forgot to put out my basket, but left it where she’d hidden it from me originally, which I think was on top of the china cabinet, and then claimed that the Easter Bunny MUST have hidden it (good save Mom, esp. at 6 am!).) Anyway, the […]

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Housekeeping

By KJ / Friday, April 2, 2010

It’s getting pretty deep around here–meaning that our many belongings are gathering forces in various piles and preparing to take over the house, or at least the space we would prefer to use to walk it. I meant to deal with it this afternoon, but my lovely friend Mimi invited me over to drink Sangria and watch the kids play in the sprinkler instead, and–well, at least when we’re not some, what already IS clean stays clean! But this weekend […]

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Sprinkler in April

By KJ / Friday, April 2, 2010

Sprinkler in April Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Really, Though, it’s Everybody

By KJ / Thursday, April 1, 2010

I pin stuff on Rory–and why not, she’s the most interesting of the lot right now, and the one for whom I get to come up with all of these reasons for her behavior…but really, all three “littles” make me crazy, and all three of them have some of the same issues, which are probably–somehow–my issues. And so I ask. with passionate interest–why do they always want me? Truly, Rob is a MUCH nicer person than I am. Way more […]

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Ouchie, Ouchie

By KJ / Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Rory is mortally wounded several dozen times a day. Rarely do ten minutes go by before the refrain begins: OUCHIE! OUCHIE! I know, I know that this is more of exactly what I blogged about two days ago. I know this is Rory, who just wants as much of me as she can get, and a true wound is an excellent way to get my full attention. But oh, it is getting old. And hard on Wyatt, giver of all […]

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Us on AOL’s Kitchen Daily

By KJ / Monday, March 29, 2010

I think everyone will get a small giggle out of my quarantine story for AOL’s Kitchen Daily. Especially you, mom! Ah, those were the days.

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That Limited, Rare, Desirable Commodity: Me.

By KJ / Sunday, March 28, 2010

Cross-posted at No Hands But Ours (a great site to find information and community for “special needs” China adoption). It has been a rough trip, these last six or seven months, and there were times when I thought I’d never look at Rory and feel just unadulterated happiness. I thought I’d always see the shadow of the things I had trouble with–the way her arrival changed our family, the way it affected my relationship with the other kids, the fear […]

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Powerpuff Girls

By KJ / Saturday, March 27, 2010

Powerpuff Girls Originally uploaded by kjda Bubbles and Blossom. Buttercup won’t play… Which, if you know anything at all about the Powerpuff Girls, is totally typical. You should have heard Lily–oops, Blossom–“but we need someone with beautiful black hair like Buttercup!” “No! I don’ wanna!” I think she would have done it if Lily hadn’t demanded that she dress up. She’d already spent ten reluctant minutes as a fairy. Rory likes to be comfy. I have been cleaning out closets, […]

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Procrastination Lesson

By KJ / Friday, March 26, 2010

Sam had a “Jump Rope for Heart” event at school today. They were out early–at 12:30, for conferences–and participating kids could stay, and jump, and earn prizes and have big fun. But they were supposed to raise money for the American Heart Association. The papers came home weeks ago, and I said, Sam, look, you could really do this well, you know a lot of people. I will match anything you raise. After a week I brought the papers along […]

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Rory Won’t Fess Up, and No Sense At All Is Made

By KJ / Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I went into the bathroom as Rory was supposed to be brushing her teeth, and found the mirror covered in suds of some kind, all over the back of the sink about where she could reach. What is that? I asked–and she froze. Did you do that? Dumb question, as it was wet, and she was the only child in there (or anywhere nearby). Frozen. Did you put soap on the mirror? Did you put water on the mirror? How […]

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Love, that Thing That We Talk About

By KJ / Monday, March 22, 2010

It’s been a long time since I visited the “do you love her yet” question. I’ve loved very few people on sight. Most of my friends turned out to be better after you got to know them some (which, in some cases, means I didn’t like them at all until later, when I did). I didn’t fall in love with Rob when we first met. In fact, it wasn’t until about 2 years later that I looked at him, strewn […]

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A New Family Holiday: Light Stuff on Fire Day!

By KJ / Monday, March 22, 2010

A Originally uploaded by kjda So, I think this makes a fine addition to the Friday Festival of Sugar and Fat. I had cardboard that would never fit into recycling (in our world, it it’s bigger than 2′ by 2′ the recycling guys throw it back on your driveway, and I think they pee on it first, because they hate their lives), and I thought, well, why not burn it? And while we are out it, why not put some […]

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Let the Party Begin!

By KJ / Thursday, March 18, 2010

Let the Party Begin! Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Rainbow Cupcake results

By KJ / Monday, March 15, 2010

Rainbow Cupcake results Originally uploaded by kjda And indeed, they made everybody very happy. Well, everybody except me. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Rainbow cupcakes for Wyatt’s birthday

By KJ / Monday, March 15, 2010

Rainbow cupcakes for Wyatt’s birthday Originally uploaded by kjda From Family Fun…seemed like a good idea when we started. KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone

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Fwd: Future scientists dissect cow eyeball.

By KJ / Thursday, March 11, 2010

Fwd: Future scientists dissect cow eyeball. Originally uploaded by kjda KJ Dell’Antonia sent from my iPhone Begin forwarded message: >

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